Criminal Minds Imagines

Now we'll never know part 4 *Spencer Reid* || Fluff

Who is Spencer? The question I never wanted to be asked by my daughter. Who is he? The love of my life? The most beautiful mind I've come across of? The person I've wanted to spend all my days with? The one person who made me genuinely laugh? My best friend? My ex fiance? What am I supposed to tell Faith?

"He is an old friend of mine." I smile kneeling down to face my daughter and she seems sad.

"How come all your friends are old friends and I never met any of them? Did you have a fight with them?" She asks me and I can't tell her anything else so I just nod. "My friends from school had a fight today too, but they made up at the end of the day. Maybe you can make up with them too." Faith says and I sigh.

"When adults fight, it's usually harder to make up, but don't worry about my old friends. You are the only friend I really need." I smile scrunching my nose and she chuckles. "Okay? Promise we're always be best friends forever?" I ask smiling to her and she nods hugging her arms around me.

"I promise. Speaking of friends, Maria has a sleepover on Friday and I was invited. Do you think I could go?" Faith asks me and I bite my lip realizing how much she grew up. She already made friends and has sleepovers, soon she'll be going to clubs and getting drunk, hopefully she won't enjoy doing that. Oh god why am I thinking about her getting drunk and having boyfriends or girlfriends?

"Sure sweetie." I nod and she hugs me again before going back to the piano and I go to my office and for the first time in forever, I understand why my dad used to keep a bottle of scotch in his office. I don't even bother finding a glass and my mouth meets the mouth of the bottle and my tongue feels the burning liquid numbing it.

Did you know he was in prison? I bet he didn't tell you that. After you left he was utterly destroyed. Oh but I bet he didn't tell you about his drunk year.  After three years in which you still didn't come back, he started to think you actually died, because let's be honest, who does that? Who leaves just like that?

Bits and pieces of JJ's words come back to me and it's like that track is on repeat. I feel tears streaming down my cheeks and I feel I am drowning once again. Stop toying with his life and at least have the courtesy of telling him loud and clear that you two are over, because I know you know that. Maybe I should do that. I need to go see him and I need to talk to him and I need to tell him that it's over and that little date we had was just a lie we told ourselves. I open the last shelf and take the little metal box and open it. I see the necklace Spencer gave to me after 5 months of being in a relationship and I let my fingers touch it lightly but they stop at a picture of us. I smile remembering I took this picture on the night he first made love to me.

*Flashback*

"So anyway, now that we are here in your city, tell me how life was for you."  I ask him as we're walking on the streets of Las Vegas.

"It was good. It feels like a lifetime ago when i had restrictions to most of the casinos here".

"I bet thousand women threw themselves at you whenever you won at casinos."  I remark and he chuckles shaking his head a bit surprised by my statement.

"Funny thing is that, most of those women were prostitutes and the rest of them thought I was a witch or something ." His laugh makes me smile. I find him so adorable even my heart smiles.

"Well you definitely were busy that time." I say and I feel a tone of jealousy in my voice. He does look like all women were at his nerdy feet.

"I was, just not in that Derek Morgan way. I was only 14 by the time I started getting restrictions."  He mentions probably feeling my jealousy and I laugh hearing him read my mind. I tend to forget he's a profiler with keen observation to body language.