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Random stuff i feel like saying.

Humor

This is just a book of random stuff. Facts. Story's....about my friends and I. And jokes. I don't know exactly how it'll be...but it should be pretty awesome...so, READ! Please?

How to be the best you, you can be!

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by ashleykshir

by ashleykshir

Here are 5 ways to be the best you, you can be! Well....by best I mean most annoying...but whatever...

1: always...ALWAYS ask unanswerable questions to random people. Such as...

How many teeth do Miskitos have?

Why is hippo milk pink?

Do flys swim?

How many Tshirts are blue?

If I were to buy all the ford pickups in the world how much would it cost?

How many beds are in china?

Why do bugs fly?

Why don't cats like water?

Why can't I walk on water?

Why is grass green?

Why can't I swim through land like chuck Norris?

Who? What? Why? When? Where? What do I wear?!

How many left feet are there in the world?

Why can't I walk to mt.doom? Or mordor for that mater...?

2: when in public always be the loudest most immature version of you, you can be.

Like when ever something random pops into your head don't keep it to your self...yell it out to the world!

3: always annoy your friends when they can't do anything about it!

(This happened to Jacobs best friend William)

Go to the movies...preferably a crowded one...sit by your friend and start clinging to them and saying stuff like 'mommy stop hitting/kicking me!' And whatever else you can think up...in this situation all that your friend wants to do is kick you but them people would think that they actually were doing all of the crap that you were yelling about...also it wouldn't hurt to act completely moronic...like drunk almost

4: never give straight answers. Ever.

Just don't...it's funny to see people's reaction.

(This happened to my dad and his best friend Gregg)

They went out for coffee then had some shopping to do so they got iced coffees to go then went shopping...at one of the stores the check out lady asked them if they were TOGETHER! So Gregg said "we came in together..." My dad said "we're gonna leave together..." Gregg said "we got coffee together..." And dad said now we're going home together..." And they left.

5: always make shallow offers.

Offer help or something to someone...when they take you up on your offer say ''OH! Sorry...but I wasn't actually offering...." Or just simply walk away. No words, just walk away.