Thomas Sangster Imagines

#65 Bulimic

You stared at yourself in the cold bathroom mirror, glaring at your body. You hated your shape, you hated your hips and you hated the way your skin curved over the sides of your body.

At least that's what you saw.

You had been skipping meals for days, eating then throwing up and yet; you still weren't happy.

You saw no change in your body shape, you didn't see a new look. All you saw was your monstrous self, all you saw was this disgusting inhumanly body.

You weren't changing, no matter what you did you just.. you couldn't lose the weight. The mirror was an illusion, it made you believe your once slim body was now a pounded mess. That was the scariest thing out of any of it.

You saw this disgusting mess and everyone else... they saw a stick, a bony tiny stick.

Tears rimmed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around your waist, feeling your skin and staring at your body entirely. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door that made you jump.

"Y/N?" Your boyfriend Thomas spoke. "You've been in there for awhile, are you alright?" He asked worriedly, staring at the white door.

"uh- ye-yeah.." You wiped your tears quickly. "yeah.. i-im good" 

He could sense the tone in your voice and he knew you were lying. "unlock the door.." He spoke softly, waiting for a click in the lock.

In slow movements, you reached your hand out and switched the little nob to a vertical position; then you backed away from the door.

Thomas twisted the handle and opened the door, he walked in the softly shut the door behind him. When he turned around to face you again, there was a broken look placed upon his face.

You couldn't look at him. You turned away, pulling your hand up to your mouth and shutting your eyes tightly; hoping you wouldn't cry.

You suddenly felt arms slip softly around your waist and you jumped slightly in a midst of surprise. Thomas hugged you softly from behind and turned you so that you faced the mirror.

"look at yourself..." He said softly, his voice deep but light. He stayed silent for a few moments, lifting his head further over your shoulder to overlook your bare skinned body. "What have you done?" This time, his voice was sad and full of concern.

"skipping meals?" He said quietly, dragging his finger over your stomach. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything or look up at yourself and him in the mirror.

"Y/N..... look at yourself.." He said softly, staring at you.

You looked up, and for the first time.. you didn't see the over weight girl you had seen several times before; you saw something much more horrible. Bones stuck out of your body and the gap between your thighs was inevitable. You saw someone completely different then what you saw so many times before, it was all an illusion.

"you've been doing this to yourself for weeks.. and for what?" He said, pulling you closer and holding you tighter. "You don't need to lose weight Y/N, you need to gain it. Okay? I love you, I cant stand you doing this to yourself; you're-" He sighed "... you're hurting yourself, but its also hurting me.." He looked at you and turned you around so you faced him. "I love you, you are everything I have ever wanted, everything I've ever needed... and you don't need to change; for me.. or anyone else. ever." He pulled you closer. "okay?"

You nodded, tears lining your eyes. "okay.." You whispered.

He pulled both of his hands up and placed them on your cheeks, he pushed his lips to yours softly and passionately. You kissed back, placing your hand on his chest and sinking into the kiss.

After that, you went downstairs and ate lunch. Then you slowly, began to get better.