Thomas Sangster Imagines

#75 Suicide Note

I'm sorry

I wasn't good enough, I meant nothing. My attempts obviously didn't show, my job paid well enough but apparently I couldn't be there for you. I couldn't help you. I'm sorry. Y/N I cant explain why I felt this way, it was an undeniable feeling in my gut, a feeling that ate me away day by day and I'm so sorry I never told you this. I wish I could tell you that I wanted help but I didn't, I never wanted it. I almost wanted myself to rot away slowly. I never wanted to leave you, I hope you believe that.

You meant everything to me, you still do. And I'll be looking upon you when I'm no longer here, when i'm done writing this note and my heart stops beating I promise i'll still be with you, I hope you can find me buried in your heart and maybe somewhere in your memories.

Find another man, please don't grieve. I don't want you to leave your life because I left mine, you're stronger then that. Some clocks have a time line and I didn't finish in the time of mine. You have more time, find another man to love as much as you loved me, treat him well and make sure he treats you well. Don't suffer, don't let yourself suffer. Take care of my mom, hug her.. I know you two got along well.. lean on each other

Y/N I love you, so so much. Forgive me, I never intended to leave you and I hate myself for doing it, but I'll hate myself more if I don't. I'm going to miss you, so much.. I'm going to miss the way you rub your nose when your tired and the way you bite your lip when your nervous... the way you'd grip my shirt when you watched a horror film or the way you yell at me but cant help but laugh even when I've done something wrong...

I am going to miss every single thing about you, I love you.

I have to go now, the moon is setting a morning is rising upon me. The moon has finally came out from its hiding spot behind the clouds now, I have to go before its too late.

I don't know why I'm doing this, I've just gone a little... crazy

I love you, with all my heart.

Yours truly, Thomas.

and the letter sat there beside his fragile pale body on the bathroom floor, waiting for you to walk in and see. an empty bottle sat beside his head but no more pills left to take. His hair fallen out in patches from the stress, his ribs violently sticking out from his body.

His violent silent scream calling for help, asking for someone, anyone.. yet no one.

so the note stayed still, the room quiet and dull. Waiting for you to open the door, waiting for you to open and see that beauty, was turned into a cold lifeless tragedy.