I stared at the drawing in front of me. Why had I drawn this? How could I have been so utterly stupid?! Well, it was no use to question my actions now. They had already been performed, and now I would have to face the consequences. I would have to remember...
It had been cold. There was ice on the road. Black ice. Ice that I couldn't see. And I had hit it just wrong, going just a tad bit too fast. It was Jessie's birthday, too. We were on our way home...
The concert we had attended had ended about an hour before and I was driving back to our house. We were listening to Boys Like Girls on my iPod, which I had plugged into my speakers. We were both singing along to "our song".
"Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're coming home with me tonight
I can't get enough
Shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright, at five minutes to midnight"
I turned to smile at Jessie. "How's it feel to be 15 finally?" I asked, grinning hugely before turning my attention back to the road.
"It's great, Maddie! And now all I have to do is wait six months until I get my Learner's and then I can go driving with you!"
"Yup," I agreed. I love Jessie. She's the best little sister I could've asked for.
We started singing again:
"We could
Pack up and leave all our things behind
No fact or fiction or storyline
Cause I need you more than just for tonight
You're oh oh all I care
I can't stop my breathing in
I'm weak and you were my medicine
I won't stop till I am under your skin
You know you wanna
Just let go
It's time to roll down the windows
Sing it oh oh
Yeah all we need so here we go
Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're coming home with me tonight
I can't get enough
Shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright, at five minutes to midnight
You see our name in city lights
We'll make the clock stop
Make your heart drop and come ali-" Our singing quickly turned into screaming. I lost control of the car. We were skidding out of control. I eased off the accelerator slowly, but turned the steering wheel in the wrong direction. I didn't remember what I should've done until it was too late. We started spinning out of control. "Hold on!" I shouted to her. "It's going to be okay."
We crashed into a tree. A huge oak. I blacked out from the force of the impact, and, when I came to, I immediately looked to Jessie. The front of the car looked like an accordion. I couldn't see her legs. The dashboard was covering them. I looked back at her face and screamed, "Jessie! Jessie, wake up!" I shook her shoulder gently, then more roughly. I still got no response. "Jessie! C'mon, Jessie! You have to wake up! You have to WAKE UP!" I wailed.
I stopped shaking her, and looked around for my purse. I found it and rummaged around for my cell phone. I found it and dialed emergency services right away.
"Hello, you've reached Emergency Services. What is the nature of your emergency?" The operator asked calmly.
"I've had an accident. My car skidded and we crashed into a tree...my sister..." I broke down and sobbed. "My sister...she won't...she won't..." I trailed off, sobbing again.
"Ok, I need you to calm down. Can you tell me where you are?" She asked soothingly.
"I...we just passed the bridge and were going around the bend."
"Okay, I'm sending an emergency crew out your way. They'll be there soon, ok? Just hold on."
"Ok..." I said quietly. "Thanks."
"I have to go, but don't worry...they'll be there soon. Goodbye." And with that, she hung up.
Five minutes later, the rescue team had gotten to us. They ended up having to cut us out, and when they did, I saw just what the damage to Jessie had been. Her legs were broken and bloodied, bent in odd directions. I screamed when I saw her. An EMT checked for a pulse, and didn't find one. He performed CPR for a few minutes, but eventually gave up. "Time of death..." I screamed and stopped listening, tears streaming down my face. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't be! But in my heart, I knew she was gone. And it was my fault.
I hardly noticed as they put me on the stretcher and drove me to the hospital. I just stared at the roof of the ambulance repeating the same thing over and over to myself. "She can't be dead. She can't be dead. She can't be dead."
