Mud | Obikin

7.

Next morning mission is to catch Master Yoda. At the Temple, you usually keep stumbling on him. Naturally, when you need him, he is nowhere to be found, and nobody has seen him in ages.
When I'm about to lose my temper, I find him at the Archives, amiably chatting with Master Nu.

What he says when we're alone is -again- that I look tired and that I should rest. He will try to keep me here for a while.
When I talk about Anakin - whether to put a couple of Star Systems between us to avoid mutual dismemberment, or to stay together for the sake of war and Anakin's Dark Side related issues- he states that he can certainly assign us to different missions if this is what we really want.
Then, he admits that Anakin could indeed need a friend by his side in these difficult times; "Complicated your relationship is."

To think that I omitted the sex/love/choking part.

Finally, he recommends meditating on the matter of distance; "How far away one must go to escape himself?" (unscrambled version). In two words: you decide.

Thank you, Master Yoda.

After this, I reach Windu at the Council Hall. Formalities, report exchanging, dry opinions on war evolutions. I am leaving when he says, faking a last minute inspiration, that a gala dinner will be held tonight at the Corellian Embassy.

"All those that matter on this planet will be there. They are expecting to see their heroes, and I do not want them to be disappointed. You and Skywalker will attend and keep a discrete eye on the Senators. They are an obvious target when they are all together outside the Senate. Especially Organa and Amidala; their opposition to the war is exposing them, many suspects them to be disguised Separatists. Coruscant temperature has become sensibly higher while you were away."

'Can't wait.' I think, answering that it will be done.

When I get home, I find Ashoka sitting on the pavement outside my door, looking troubled. She starts talking the moment I turn the corner, making me think she could have been preparing her speech for a while.

"Master. Sorry to disturb you. May we have a word when possible, please?"

"You are not a disturb, I am more than happy to help if I can." I open the door, raising my eyebrows, and signal her to enter. "It's noon, do you mind if I cook lunch for the both of us while you talk? You can set the table."

"I... Ehrm... No. I mean yes. Of course I can. Thank you, Master."

I stare at the cupboard, thinking of something quick to prepare with the little food I have.

"I don't know where to begin," Ahsoka says. "I'm so sorry to bother you."

"You have already said that. No problem. Go on," I answer, working at the counter.

She remains silent, sitting on the edge of the dining table chair, her hands under her thighs. I decide not to push her.

"It's about Anakin," she finally reveals. "I have only spent a few hours with him since he came back but... He's so strange, tense... Stares at the wall as I talk to him. Leaves the room in the middle of a sentence. When he pays attention, is only to yell at me. I don't understand what's happening."

"Have you tried asking him?"

"He told me that my Master's private life is not my business."

"I can't disagree, Ashoka."

She sighs. "You're right. I just don't know how to handle it. Maybe there's something I can do. Maybe I have done something wrong. I keep messing things up."

"A good Padawan like you shouldn't talk like this. I assure you it's not your fault," I say, placing our hot dishes on the table.

She thanks me for the meal with a full mouth and big eyes.

I don't want her to go away like this, I want to say something that could help.

"You know, I remember being worried about my Master's mood all the time; always afraid to be a burden, the origin of all his problems."

"I bet you were a good Padawan too, yet you shared my fears."

"I believed I was not enough and I was wrong. He cared for me, this is what Masters do. You can't train anyone if you don't. Anakin was a difficult Padawan, in some ways, but I've never... I deeply cared for him. Always."

"You still do."

"I still do, Ashoka. The way I care for you. This is not forbidden."

She looks away, trying to hide that this has moved her.

"C'mere, little one." I give her a quick but tight hug. "There's nothing wrong with you."

I've never done something like this with him, I've never said that I cared. I'm getting too sentimental.

"I know it can't all be my fault, but sometimes it's hard to remember." She stops to look at her feet. "I shouldn't say this but... You feel different too."

Ahsoka wants to say that she knew something was wrong between us the moment we got down that ship. She doesn't dare, though, so she bites her lip instead.

"Everything's okay, stop worrying," I whisper.

Same words Anakin said to me.