Mud | Obikin

27.

Anakin is sprawled across my bed. A couple of his limbs weight on me and the space he left along the mattress border is not enough.

I asked him to set me free. He won't. Moreover, I don't want him to.
What I should do and what I want are too far away. I keep oscillating in between, and as a result, I achieve neither of these. I'm so clueless and confused that I'm about to laugh.

I spoiled last night. I want this morning. I'll think about our troubles later.

I take away his forearm from my stomach and kiss his wrist.
His Signature feels beautiful. New and clean.

Anakin sighs at the murky light filtering through the shades. "It's a hideous rainy day, and you are more dead than alive. You can't get up today."

This is less a joke than he wants me to believe.

"Despite your questionable nursing methods, I do feel better... Are you sustaining I'm too sick to get out of bed though healthy enough to take care of your kinks?"

"Actually, that is part of the therapy."

I want to stay here bickering and never worry about anything else again.

I wish I were able to say this, and I'm relieved I am not.

"I must learn something more about my Chiss friend and yesterday mess. You have your own messes to sort out."

Making him leave his bed has always been a pain in the neck. It is even harder when I myself want him to stay.

Anakin hides his face into the pillow. "We exit this room, and it's like nothing happened. You get cold and distant, and I have to start all over again... I just wanna hide here for a little while."

"Okay," I say.

He peeks at me from behind the sheets, and I fall for his boyish, surprised look. "If this is reverse psychology you are trying here, you should know it doesn't work on me."

"Let's do it your way, as mine has so far proven ineffective. I'm tired of bitching, arguing and being responsible for you and me. It is time to let you be irresponsible for both of us. You're in charge for the next twenty-four hours - more if it works."

His grin is that of a sniper who has just been gifted a precision rifle. "Are you telling me I order, and you obey?"

"More like I trust your judgment, and we find out where it takes us. I suppose you have a precise idea of how all this should be carried on. Show me, Master."

Hopefully, Anakin will learn that he can insist on his absurdities only as long as I curb them. Merely opposing all I say is puerile, adults actively look for solutions.
We need to cooperate to get out of this swamp before it swallows us whole.

This is what I tell myself, though the truth lays somewhere else.
I can't fight anymore; part of me just hopes he will find a way to make it work.
And I want to stay with him. It is as simple and complicated as that.