(Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! Twitter: @TFFAlive.)
"Hey." He simply greets me. At almost four in the morning.
"Hi." I reply but it comes out more like a question. I'm wondering why he's here. I haven't known him too long and he knows I'm alone, a girl can only wonder.
"Everyone else is asleep and I was having trouble falling into it." His voice is raspy.
"Do you wanna come in?" I move from the entrance of the doorway so he could come into the room I was supposed to be sharing with Cynthia.
"Sure." He smiles and walks in.
I notice that he managed to throw on a shirt before coming to my room and I'm slightly disappointed.
"How'd you know I was up?" I take a seat on the bed I was previously laying in and he does the same to the other.
"Earlier I mentioned I wasn't that tired and Jethro said that if I was bored later on, you're always up."
"And he was right." I smiled.
I usually have trouble sleeping. Why? I'm not so sure. Well, I kind of have an idea as to why; it may be my anxiety that keeps me up subconsciously. The anxiety makes me have too many thoughts while sleeping, usually not happy ones. My heart is always almost racing at an abnormal speed. I just always have anxiety and I don't like it.
"Do you usually have problems falling asleep?" I ask while bring my knees up to my chest and leaning against the headboard.
"It depends. Some nights are better than others."
I don't want to overstep my boundaries but usually these late night conversations are where there are no boundaries, you can ask anything. People are more open and share things they wouldn't at three in the afternoon. Even people who barely know each other.
"Can I ask why? Like insomnia or something?"
He gives a slight laugh. "Nah, not insomnia. I just, I guess I just have too much on my mind. It never stops running."
"I get you. And the late the thoughts are the worst."
"They are. It's like every negative thing you can think of comes swarming in."
"And then you try to think of other things, anything, and you can't."
"Right. The bad thoughts just take over. I hate it."
"I know exactly how you feel."
"Why're you up?" He asks and brings his feet from the floor to meet with his torso at the bed, sitting in the pretzel shape.
"Same thing, basically. And I think anxiety."
"Anxiety over what?"
"I don't even know, I just always have it."
"Do you have an anxiety disorder?"
"I do, yeah."
"And do you have medicine?" He's so calm while asking this. Usually I'm afraid to tell people, that I've just recently met, that I have anxiety along with the fact I have pills for it. But it's four AM.
"I do but I only take it when I really need it." I answer.
"Is it one of those moments?" He smiles.
"I think I'm okay for right now." I giggle a little.
"Alright good. I know what that's like though, the anxiety and everything. I had a lot of attacks when I was younger."
