Michael's Guide To Third Wheeling || Michael Clifford

Tip #11: Dodge The Kiss

What to remember: Make sure to bring a dictionary with you and make a list of adjectives that don't fit the situation. Also, don't stay at the back of the movie house.

------------------------------------------

The name of my perfume should've been called "Bitter".

But now wasn't the time for smelling. It was a time to run, which I wasn't crazy enough to do.

"You have another one?"

I received an answer when I heard the second one drawing closer by the clanking and booming sound of her shoes against the floor like that of iron chains. I could almost sniff the alluring smell of horrifying passion within her, which, believe me, was a deadly scent. I also don't know how one can smell passion, but it was there. I could almost feel it. She strode closer, flaunting a destructive machine of sorts that had a crooked chained handle attached to a beaming cube that almost blinded me with its glitter.

Alas, the mystery date exposed herself...

in a pink ruffly gown?

"()Mavis Folger you look stunning! Magnificent!" Luke rushed to her, showering her with praises. "Terrific! Marvelous! Outright sublime!"

"Are you wearing 'Passion' by Victoria's Secret?" Abigail screeched like a witch and I might have just hid behind Luke. I couldn't decide on what she was. In the previous chapter I called her a zombie and a beast, now a spell casting freak. "I'm wearing 'Bewitch'. It's from my own line of perfume." The monstrous date got her bag out and shuffled through its contents. She produced a tiny box of perfume and handed it to the girl in the dress caked with awful ribbons. When the wicked witch of the west had given the perfume, she took a closer inspection of the other girl and gasped.

"Is that the limited edition sparkly purse by Gucci?"

So it wasn't a hazardous device.

"Mav!" Luke slapped his forehead passionately like in those Spanish teleseryes when one of the characters faces a serious crisis. "I haven't introduced you to your date yet!"

"Her date?" I pointed to the girl who looked like she was going to fall from her sky high heels.

"Yes, that's you! You're her date!" I was too stunned and confused to move that my future date had to make the effort to go to me. "Mavis this is Michael. Michael this is Mavis."

I pulled Luke aside when my date and I exchanged cheesy smiles. "You never told me any of this. I thought she was your date!" I whispered almost loudly.

"Look, I knew you've always been a...third wheel-" Luke stopped to check on my reaction. Why did everyone have a difficult time admitting that? I accepted it already. "-so I wanted you to go out with someone."

"Oh bother," I placed my hand on my sweaty head. "You just had to be one of those caring friends."

"See?" said Luke. "I've got your back, Mickey."

Really? This was his name for me back in college and he was bringing it back from the dead.

"So what do you have planned for us tonight?" Abigail wriggled her way in the middle of us to hang on to Luke's arm.

"Thanks for reminding me!" Luke lifted his arm with such vigor that Abigail almost fell from clinging so much to him. "It escaped my mind! I was having too much fun talking to my friend here. Anyway, Mickey, you know that Abigail never forgets?"

I've been threatened with that, but yes, I've heard.

I shuddered. "I know."

"She has something like photographic memory, but with events. That's why she recalls things so easily. Cool, isn't it?"