Death To Your Heart (A Dahvie Vanity love story)

Chapter 8

Ash and I were heading home, we had told Dahvie and Jayy to meet us back at the club in an hour. I couldn't believe that Ash and I were actually going to on tour with BOTDF. My mind was racing, I was so excited. I parted ways with Ash as we approached my house and told him I'll meet up with him at the club. He nodded and I went inside. My mother was pacing around in the kitchen, she stopped as I walked in.

"Where in the HELL were you?" She screamed when I walked past her.

"I was with Ash. I told you this before I left that I was staying the night with him." I said walking in my room and looking around for my suitcase. I found it under my bed and threw it on top and opened it. My mom was standing in my doorway.

"I called Ash's dad. He said you and Ash didn't go to school today. He said he got a call from the school saying Ash needed a doctors note for tomorrow. Then right after I hung up the phone I got the same call from the school for you. So where did you go Kourtney?" She said her voice a hoarse whisper.

I rolled my eyes, should have known the school would do that. "We went to a concert, it's not that big of a deal really." I said as I started taking clothes out of my dresser and closet, folding them nicely before putting them in my suitcase. Thankfully it was a huge suitcase, otherwise I'd need like three of them to fit all my clothes and makeup.

"So you lied to me? Of course you'd do that. And why are you packing your clothes, just where do you think you're going?"

After I had gotten the suitcase closed I turned to my mom. Her face was twisted with both rage and disappointment. It pissed me off, who is she to be mad at me right now. She always tried controlling every aspect of my life, trying to control me. I ran away a lot when I was sixteen because she was always putting me on lock down for stupid shit. She never listened when I tried to tell her something and she was always judging me. I could say I hate my mom, but I don't. I loved her to death but I felt sorry for her, she was always so bitter and mean. She blamed me for everything and anything that was wrong. It was never anyone else's fault but mine. I think that's why I was so ready to jump on the opportunity to leave.

"I'm leaving momma, I'm eighteen now so you can't stop me. Ash and I are leaving to go on tour with the band we went to see today. I'll be okay, but I want you to know something before I leave." I said, starting to tear up. I pushed the tears back, I wasn't going to cry. I'm done crying, I spent most of my life crying. Not anymore.

She tried to talk but I continued talking, raising my voice over hers. "No, let me talk! I've been listening to you scream and yell at me my whole life, always putting me down, making me feel worthless and like I was never good enough. You told me I was fat, stupid, ugly, good for nothing, stupid, retarded, lazy, I'm none of those things momma. I'm beautiful, smart, and a good person with a good heart. I know I can be hard to handle sometimes, and sure I have tried to make you mad before. But momma, you shouldn't tell people those mean things, you shouldn't try to put me down or ground me just because you're angry. I have done some pretty stupid things in my life, but what teenager hasn't? You can't just ground me and take away my stuff hoping I'm not going to do anything wrong, no. Doing all those things is going to make me act out more. I'm done listening to you put me down, I'm done letting you try to control my life. I'm going to live my life how I want to live it momma. I'm not you, I may be your daughter but I'm not you, I'm not going to live the life you want me to live. I'm going to live my life for me, and nobody else but me. I love you momma, but I feel sorry for you. You're going to die a bitter, mad, angry woman if you don't change the way you are. Just because you have changed the way you look doesn't make you pretty, you are still ugly on the inside." After I finished talking my mom was bawling her eyes out. Tears pouring down her face. I was breathing hard, trying not to cry myself. I reached out and pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. "I love you momma." I said, and pulled away from her. I grabbed my suitcase and walked past her and out to the kitchen.