How you want to be treated - Blake Gray

Chapter 17

School was pretty boring, nothing exiting happened the whole day. I go home and greet my mom,
"Hey!"
"Hey Ash," she smiled as I walked through the door.
"How was your day?" I ask.
"It was good, I became friends with the cute colleague of mine," she smirks.
"Oooh, what else happened?" I giggle.
"Nothing, but I'm now in the same office as him, so we can talk more," she beams. My mom looks so happy when she talks about him, her smiles grows wider the more she talks, I hope they get together some day.
"Mom, I'm going to go upstairs and do my homework," I smile. She nods,
"Okay, come down for food."
I walk upstairs and sit on my bed, I plug in my headphones as not to disturb my mom and shuffle my playlist. After a while of homework I change into my pyjamas and saunter downstairs to eat, then I come back upstairs and lie in bed. My phone hasn't lit up at all, not that I've been aware of.
The next few days were pretty much the same, boring school day, go home, do homework, sleep for maybe 2 hours if I'm lucky, then start it again. That was until Friday though, when I got a strange text.

Emily: hey, I was wondering if you were free tomorrow or something?❤️
Ash: yeah I'm free, we can head to the mall or go somewhere more exiting, you know more about this place than me I'm guessing❤️
Emily: actually, I just moved here. I guess we could go exploring together😂❤️
Ash: sounds great, I'll come over to your house at 11?❤️
Emily: 39 fifth street is my house, see you then❤️

I decide to watch some old YouNow broadcasts before trying to sleep. Blake hasn't texted me all week, we've spoken at school but haven't seen each other. Texting Blake is the only thing that makes me feel happy when I'm sad, so I text him.

Ash: hey xxx
Blake: hello xxx
Ash: how are you? xxx
Blake: I can't sleep xxx
Ash: same, come outside? xxx
Blake: sure xxx

I walk downstairs in my pyjamas, not realising how cold it actually was. Blake comes down in a hoodie and joggers.
"Hey," he smiles, pulling me into a hug.
"Hey," I shiver, hugging him back.
"Are you busy tomorrow?" He asks.
"Yeah actually, I'm going to the mall with Emily," I reply.
"Oh," he sighs.
"I could maybe do something after though," I smile. His face lights up,
"Okay."
"I'll be back around 3 or 4, where do you want to go?" I question.
"The beach?" he suggests.
"Sounds great," I shiver.
"You seem cold," Blake giggles, "have my hoodie."
"Are you sure?" I ask.
"Take it," he smiles, handing me the hoodie after he takes it off. I put it on, it smells of Blake.
"Thanks Blake," I beam. I grab his hands and lean him and kiss him.
He finally broke the kiss as he started to shiver.
"You look cold," I giggle.
"It's okay, I prefer you to have the hoodie," he whispers.
"Well, let's go back inside, I'll text you or something," I smile. He walks into his house while I do the same. We both wave at each other before closing our front doors, at the exact same time. I go back to bed but I can't sleep, my thoughts are going crazy. The bad things I have in my head are taking over, they're telling me that to be happy I need to hurt myself but I promised Molly, at therapy, that I wouldn't. To resist the urge I cry instead, snuggling into Blake's hoodie makes me calm but I can't stop crying. My eyes are like broken waterworks and my mouth isn't making a sound. Thinking of Blake is calming but also making me angry, I know I love him, I've never felt this way about anyone before but I don't know if he loves me, I don't know if he's felt this way about anyone before. Maybe I'll never know if I'm special to him. I can only hope.