FEAR ▷ Denis Stoff

fifteen

Denis came stumbling out of his bunk hours later.

"Fuck the sun." He cursed.

He hadn't acknowledged my presence at all. He seemed really fucked up. James cleared his throat as his eyes darted to me and back. Denis noticed and finally looked at me.

He seemed taken back and not excited at all.

"Hey." I said awkwardly.

"Hey." He furrowed his eyebrows.

It felt like a slap in the face that he wasn't happy to see me at all.

James noticed the tension and kicked Sam. He groaned and eventually they both went back to their bunks, leaving Denis and I alone.

"It's the Vegas date isn't it?" Denis asked me.

I nodded and looked at my hands.

"I lost track of time." He continued and took a seat across from me.

"What's going on?" I looked at my boyfriend.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact we haven't talked for almost two weeks? James told me you even missed soundcheck yesterday. Denis, what's happening?"

We sat in silence as he stared at the table separating us.

"Tell me, please." I pleaded and grabbed his hands.

He continued to stare at the table. I was near tears and didn't know what to do.

At that moment, Cameron walked out and noticed the tension.

"Hey Sofia." He greeted me, "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know." I took my hands away from Denis and stood up.

Denis seemed to come out of his trance and look up at me.

"I guess I shouldn't have came here." I sighed and headed towards the door.

Right as I reached it, Denis spoke up.

"Don't go." He croaked.

I turned back around and he was crying.

"Woah hey, are you alright man?" Cameron asked him.

"I don't know, Cam." Denis was trying to calm himself down.

I walked over to him and sat on his lap. He instantly took me in his arms. I began rubbing his back awkwardly. I had never really comforted anyone before. They had always comforted me because I cried over almost everything.

Cameron had left the bus to give us privacy and had shut the door leading to the bunks.

"I feel so shitty. As soon as I left, I felt myself getting really sad. I don't even know why. For the past couple months you've been there to just keep me happy and once you were gone and I knew I wasn't going to see you for a while, I just lost it." Denis was shaking.

It seemed like he was about to have a panic attack so I grabbed some headphones and put them on him. I played some calming music through them. Denis realized what I was doing and lifted his head off my shoulder. I felt my heart break when I saw his tear stained face. He rubbed them off and gave me a kiss.

"Thank you." He mumbled against my lips.

I just hugged him tighter and we sat there for a while.

***

"Wait, what happened?" I asked Sam who was telling a story.

"Denis jumped into the crowd and everyone took him. I thought we were going to have to find a replacement. We couldn't see him for like two songs but he was still singing." Sam was laughing really hard as was everyone else.

After everything had calmed down, I had dragged everyone out to go get some lunch. It was a bit hard getting into a truck while the line was fairly long as it was almost one thirty.

"How the hell did you even get back on stage?" I turned to my boyfriend sitting next to me.

"I don't know I just felt the security grabbed me and I jumped back onstage." He shrugged sipping his drink.

"Yeah and then you face planted, mate." Ben piped up.

"Shut up, Benjamin!" He groaned, "I'm supposed to look cool for Sof."

"You will never be cool." Ben mocked his accent.

"Ya peen." Denis retorted.

"Ladies, you both need to chill." James piped up.

I felt like I was with seven year olds. They argued every hour but it was over stupid stuff. I think they all just liked to mess with each other.

"Oh yeah, I forgot the day off is tomorrow!" Cameron looked up from his phone.

"Oh sweet!" Denis cheered.

"Great, more time for you two to fuck. Just a reminder if it's gonna be in the bunks, make sure you have adv-" Ben began.

"No!" I squeaked turning red.

They all started laughing at me as I hid my face into Denis' side.

"You guys are mean." I mumbled and pouted.

"That we are, love!" James laughed.

Everyone had finished their meal and it was time for soundcheck so we all made our way back to the venue. As expected, they were late. No one really seemed to mind though.

"Which songs are you guys singing?" I asked Denis.

"Let It Sleep, Send Me Home, Gone, A Prophecy, Moving On, To The Stage, Not The American Average, Candlelit Dinner With Inamorta, Someone Somewhere, Here I Am and then The Final Episode." He named them off.

"That's a sick setlist." I smiled.

"I think it's my favorite out of the ones we've done other times." He said and began vocal warmups.

I sat on one of the amps on stage as James started checking the drums.

Time passed and before I knew it we were off stage in the bus and VIP was about to start.

"Did you wanna come with?" Ben asked me as everyone else was back in the bunks.

"Wait, I can?" I jumped up.

"Yeah, I'm sure the fans won't mind if you're there." He shrugged.

"Sweet!" I smiled.

***

The fans seemed to not hate me, which was a really good thing. The last thing I wanted was people who didn't know me at all to hate me.

A couple of them even asked for pictures with me. I couldn't help but smile every time someone asked. Of course, I gladly agreed.

All too soon, it ended and we went back to the bunks. They had to be back in the venue in two hours to perform.

It seemed Denis was fine after what happened on the bus earlier, but I was still unsure. I felt bad for him. Cameron told me this was the first time he had ever acted like that. No one really knew what happened, not even Denis.

All that mattered was that he seemed okay for now. I hoped that he didn't go back to that anytime soon.