I felt like I was going to throw up. I was feeling woozy and all of my emotions came back to me all at once, it was too much for me to take. I accidently drop my books but I don't bother picking them up and I run towards the porch.
I grip the railings so tight that my knuckles are turning white. I feel tears welling in my eyes, why was he here?
I'm not ready for this. Why is this happening to me?
The wind is blowing in my face and is not helping at all. I'm hyperventilating.
God this is not happening; ok breathe in and out, in and out.
When I saw him there I couldn't take it, it was the first time we saw each other after the breakup, he was there looking as great as ever he even looked better if that's even possible.
His hair was a bit longer than before, it was kept messily and gave off that bad boy kind a vibe. He had grown a bit taller and he got a fricking tattoo on his neck to finish of his look like when did that happen? I couldn't see what it was of but it was some kind of writing.
I hear someone behind me and I look back and see Neil, my heart beat accelerates to the point I think it's going to burst out of my chest.
He has my books in his hands. My throat feels dry, I can't breathe.
A part of me wants to hug him and be in his safe arms forever another part of me wants nothing to do with him I'm torn.
But neither part wants to stay right now so I wipe my eyes and am about to walk away but he grabs my hand and I swear to god I almost die. His touch feels so electric- yes just holding hands felt electric that was what Neil could do to me.
I didn't realize just how much I missed him.
I turn back and he suddenly he hugs me, surprising me. "I missed you." He whispers so low that he's barely audible. My breath hitches and my heart is thumping like crazy. I can feel my eyes well up with tears. I've missed you too dumbass.
His voice is shaking a little. Slowly I can feel my resolve breaking I am literally minutes away from hugging him back and begging him to never leave me and hold me forever. But he quickly pulls away.
And I remember him leaving me and I'm bitch slapped in the face by reality.
"Why are you here?" I croak out.
He looks like he's about to say something when his eyes directly go to my chest where the infinity necklace lays dangling.
"You still have it." He whispers with confusion and a look in his eyes that I can't decipher.
Damn it why did I wear it!? Why is it out? Normally I hide it under my shirt but not today, oh no my life was going just too well.
Great now he probably thinks of me as a pathetic lame girl who can't get over him.
That's pretty dead accurate but he doesn't need to know that and enlarge his already huge ego.
I quickly put the necklace under my shirt and shake my head. "W-Why are you here?"I repeat.
"I swear to god I did not know you went here." He says. Ouch. "If I did I would never have come." He says.
And I felt like someone just slapped me. Seriously Neil ouch.
"Of course you wouldn't." I say.
"No I didn't mean it like-"
"Why?" I cut him off.
