Black Coffee (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 27

i keep meaning to write more and more often but i always get distracted and i'm always at work and /ugh/ no more excuses so without further ado, here's chapter 27 

(i have no spelling check and im awful at spelling so if i butcher a word, just ignore it and make fun of me behind my back ok)

Chapter 27 

Louis sat on the edge of his bed, looking around at his dull room. It looked messy, and so 'lived-in', it made him realize that he had only lived here for a few weeks. With Ben, of course. He remembers the cabin that he bought and lived in for over a year. It was his home, and only because he was close to Ben. Now, sitting on his bed hours away from him, he feels so out of place. Before, when Ben was here in the lfat with him, he was comfortable. Now it just felt wrong. Like someone had moved everything two inches to the left. Exactly the same but so so different. 

Ben leaving was like a punch to the gut. It was over. He wouldn't remember and now, Louis wasted all of this time. He wasted all of his emotions and energy on something he knew wouldn't happen in the end. He was only messing with himself. Telling himself one thing just so he could protect himself from the hard hit of truth he'd recieve later in life. 

Without realizing what he was doing, he leaned down to his half-unpacked suitcase under his bed. He let a half-smile crawl onto his face. It reminded him of the days that he and the boys would spend months living out of their suitcases while they were on tour. His heart ached at the memory, wishing that they were still together, and still singing their songs and dancing with dorky grins on their faces the whole time.

He pulled out the two envelopes filled with checks, his heart beating faster when he pulled them out, and looked at them all.

'Black Coffee'

'Black Coffee'

'Black Coffee'

'Black Coffee'

Each one had Harry's penminship. His perfectly messily beautiful writing. It brought very unwelcomed tears to his eyes. He missed Harry. He really really missed Harry. It pains and weighs down at his heart with the realization how just how much he missed the lad.  It sometimes feels like Harry is dead. But it's so much worse, because now, Louis has to face him every single day. He has to look into the eyes he knows so well, but eyes who look at Louis like a stranger. It's like the universe is playing a sick game on him. Louis thinks that it's worse than death. 

Looking at the hundreds of check, give Louis this feeling in his chest. Like it's not over. Of course it's not over, because Ben hasn't remembered yet, and Harry isn't in his arms, and he hasn't called Louis his boobear and it's not over yet.