I look at my phone.... It kills me. Half of the people say I'm wonderful and pretty... They must be lying! The rest say I'm awful, stupid,an idiot, a slut and so much worse things that most people couldn't even take Ina nightmare. In nightmares you can at least wake up, this is my everyday life.I thought Jojo Siwa was a proud name, maybe I was wrong again. Now anything new in my life is wrong. I am staying in my LA apartment today alone... My mom has to go do some things and I rather not go, every time I go shopping and whatever it just brings me down worst! I don't think my Mom knows the pain I go through every second of my existence or anyone else. If they did they would of reported me by now "for my own good". It's like they secretly hate me. I can only wear my fake smile for a short period of time.... And my time is almost done. I get off my bed and walk over to the bathroom. I find my razor right where it always is under the counter. Now don't get me wrong I will be leaving behind a ton of people I love and my fans, I do feel a bit selfish for that but, they will learn to understand my reasons if they really care.... If it all is not just an act of fake affection. Then I hear a knock on the door I shove the blade under the counter to cover up the evidence of what I was about to do.
"Coming I yell" as I run for the door
I look through the peak hole and see it's Maddie! I technically am not aloud to open the door while my Mom isn't home but since it's one of Maddie's rare visits I let her in and burst out into my fake smile.
"Maddie!" I yell and give her a fake joyful hug
"Jojo, I want to talk to you" she says
I invite her in the apartment and lock up the door. I grab the bowel of cut up fruit from the fridge and set it on the table.I sit at the dining room table with Maddie.
"Sup" I say acting like I'm fine... Like I just didn't try to take my life less then 5 minutes ago.
"Jojo" Maddie says in a sad voice
"What?" I ask
" I know what you were doing before I came..." She starts to say as she sniffles a little. Our bond is pretty close since she chose me over Nia in a trio dance and Maddie can always tell what's going on... Like it's in her instincts, almost like it runs in her blood.
"Maddie people hate me..." I start up, then she cuts me off
"But, other people love you" she states
"They hate me" I scream, not meaning to raise my voice so much
"Jojo I'm here for you, I love you" Maddie says, I know she is telling the truth but, I want my battle to be over I know she will tell authorities "for my own good" and I will end up wanting to die even more!
So I take off for the bathroom, Maddie's fast but, I'm quicker. I make it to the bathroom and lock the door. I take out the blade.
"Jojo stop now and I won't tell anyone, please just let me in" Maddie begs
"Don't you want me to be happy?!??" I ask sobbing out
"This isn't the way to happiness Jojo, join me and don't take the cowards way out!" Maddie shouts
" I'm not a coward" I argue back
"Then come out here and show me you are stronger then this" Maddie screams banging on the door.
My heart knows Maddie's right but, if also knows that I am ready to say goodbye to the pain of life... What do I do? I decided to listen to my heart.....
A/N I hope you enjoyed this, tell me in the comments!! Check out my other stories!!!!
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Suicidal : Maddie Ziegler and Jojo Siwa fanfic
FanfictionJojo often feels alone on the team... Since Bryn came and Maddie left. Jojo decides one day she can't take it anymore will Maddie be able to stop Jojo?!? If she can what will it mean for her and Jojo?
