The Excess

3)The L-bomb for the win

I look down at the floor. I know he's gonna drop the L-bomb, and I'm not sure if I can handle that. He takes his hands and picks my chin up and stares into my eyes.
"You're not into this, are you?" He asks, tears forming in his eyes.
"I am, it's just there is no point. For us at base, we have no future. We are not able and aloud to have kids or have relationships so what's the point? We fall in love and one day the SCA is going to swoop in and execute you. I just can't it makes me emotionally vulnerable."
"Caleigh I'm in love with you. Just tell me if you don't feel that way too...It's a yes or no." He says wiping his eyes trying not to show his tears. At that moment my tongue turns into jelly and the words can't come out of my mouth. I let go of his hands and run out of the main room trying to hold back the tears. I run through the kitchen, Alicia talking to Pakston about whether he should clean up or her. I run into my room and see Zoe getting dressed.
"What's wrong?" she asks. But I ignore her and put grab my I.D lanyard on. I open our bedroom window and climb running through fake bushes until I reach the center town gardens. I walk over to the statue of the SCA leader statue I glare at him. Anger begins to swell up in me until I shoots out of me and I can no longer contain the long felt emotions. That's when I begin to yell.
"You Asshole, you ruined my life! I have no future because of you and I can't wait until the day you're gone and buried! You deserve nothing you ruined all of our lives and if I ever set eyes on you, I will kill you!" I blare out at the top of my lungs. Before I can begin a second sentence, I feel a zap on my back and I fall into the concrete. I look up to see two SCA officers restraining me with cuffs. I smell something like chlorine and it  stings my nostrils. Then it went straight to my lungs feeling as if their was fire burning a hole. Everything started turning black and white and then it went all white.
     I wake up in my bed in B1-04 with a metal wristband on me. It was flashing green and personally, it it's so thin I don't feel it.  I feel dazed and weightless like I was being dropped from a Denha-shuttle into the never ending void of space. I get up and look in the mirror and see my once perfectly straight brown and blonde hair was a huge nest fit for a raccoon. I brush it out and stair at myself. I need something new, I need to remake myself. I scramble through my draws trying to find Pakston's trimmer. I take a deep breath and flick the switch. The buzzing of the shaver calms me, but I find myself wanting more. After I am all done I look down at the long strands of hair twisted around on the floor. I gaze up at the mirror and look at the small patch of shaved hair on the side of my head. When I'm finished  rolling in self pity, I don't recognize myself. That was the goal. I'm not who I was. I am not my parent's daughter or who the SCA wants me to be.  I take a deep breath and grab the door handle. I stand there for a second wavering if I want to go out just yet. I twist the handle and push the door. I walk past the kitchen and see everyone is sitting on stools around the table. They're eyes widen, and they just stare. I hear Leighton mumble something to Alicia but I just continue on into the main room. I open the drawer in the coffee table and pick up a coloring book. I begin to color the rhino purple when Pakston walks into the room carrying a paper and a pen.
"How are you feeling, Caleigh?"he asks
"I'm fine." I mutter.
"Well the uhh.. SCA wants you to sign this agreement that your in compliance with the rules and that you will never pull a stunt like that again." He says hesitantly.
"Well go tell them to get a clue, I'm not signing it." I reply
"Just sign the god damn papers Caleigh." He says exhaling heavily. I take the paper out of his hands and lay it on the table. I sign the bottom resisting the urge write a 'nice' message at the bottom. I hand him back the papers and kick my heels up onto the coffee table. He looks at me, clearly examining my new haircut.
"Are you ok? Your acting awfully unorthodox."
"Never been better." I smirk. With that Pakston leaves the room.