Getting over Hero
Days passed into weeks
Weeks passed into months
His smile still haunts me.
His face I still want to see.
Oh, God.
Would it be possible that this creature feels for me the way I want him to?
Could I be selfish for at least a day and let him be mine even for just a moment?
Did I pray for this feeling to latch on my system?
I don't remember praying for this.
These mixed emotions I could not shake off from my mind that easily.
They're troubling me now.
How can a young boy like him
get a hold of my thoughts...
Get a hold of my being...
my everything...?
Bakit kaya kung gusto mong kalimutan ang isang tao
Yong utak mo ay palagi kang nire-remind? Gusto mo na syang kalimutan pero di mo
magawa kase nakikita mo mukha nya kahit saan ka magpunta.
Bush*t na utak to.
Umi-epal.
Kahit magpunta pa ako sa cr at magkulong dun ng ilang araw, sinusundan pa rin ako ni Hero...ang pangit na yun!
Di nya alam ang pinagdadaanan ko ngayon.
Pero sabi nila, sa panahon na ok ka na at gusto mo syang maremember, ayaw naman ipaalala sayo ng mismong utak mo kung ano ang mukha nung taong minahal mo.
Ilang weeks na ba ang nakakaraan? Diko alam.
Paano ba ako makakaget-over sa kanya?
Sabi dun sa story na nabasa ko sa wattpad entitled
11 ways to forget your exboyfriend..
1. Destroy all remnants that reminds you of him.
" eh wala akong maalala na naibigay niya sa kin."
2. Consider his name a bad word.
"Gagawin ko iyon.
Pero di ko naman naging bf si Hero eh. Paano ko sya ifo-forget eh, di ko nga sya naging bf. Ex pa kaya?
Tange!
Napaka-ambisyosa ko naman.
Di ko rin naman kinu-consider na ex-crush ko na si
Hero kase nga di pa ako nakaka-get over sa kanya.
Applicable ba talaga sa kin itong rule na ito?
Sige... Ganito na lang. Tatawagin na lng natin syang si toot.. Short for his tooth na sungki.
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Ako lang mag isa sa rehearsal room. Hanggang 3:10 lang kase klase ko sa hapon.
Minsan nakikita ko syang dumaraan sa room kasama ang mga kaklase niya. Nakangiti sya parati.
Ganun pa rin ang effect niya sa akin... Napapatingin ako sa kanya, nagbubuntong hininga at sabay dampi ng pisngi ko sa palad ko. At kung titingnan nya ako, dalidali akong magsi-seat straight. Magkukunwaring di kuno nakatingin sa kanya.
"Wag ka na sabing ngumiti.
ngiti mo ang may sala." Sabi ko sa sarili ko.
Minsan ko lang syang nakikitang nakasimangot or troubled. Kapag nagka-cramming na sya.
Every time dumadaan sya, di ko maiwasang hindi sya i-ogle hanggang diko na sya makita. Diko kayang i-let go ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
Normal ba itong magkarun ng crush sa isang tulad niyang Estudyante.
"Hi Bess!" Si Tweety pala. Nilapitan nya ako and her eyebrows meet at the center.
Maybe she knows already what I'm feeling because she has been in this situation once and because of the same person- si toot, si Hero na crush ko na di po ako type kase he sees me as a mentor.
May kirot sa puso ko sa term na yun. Mentor
Bakit masakit para sa akin ang memory na yun?
"oi Bess." matamlay kong sagot.
"Si Hero na naman ba?" this time her eyebrows relaxed and worried.
" maybe." I half-lied to her. But I'm certainly sure she knows.
" ok lang talaga yun. Makakaget over ka rin dun"
By DUN she means yung confession ko. Hindi dun sa tao.
Alam ni Tweety na OBsessed pa rin ako sa kanya.
" You've been in my situation before, how did you get over him?"
" madali lang yan, Bess. Don't think about him. But if you do, think of his flaws. Yung ngipin nya Bess... Yung NGIPIN NYA." nilagyan nya ng emphasis ang mga salitang -ang ngipin niya.
" oh, bakit? Anung meron sa ngipin nya?"
I asked her. Curious of what her answers might be.
" kase sungki! Pagtitingnan mo sya, tingnan mo na lang yung ngipin nya at i-zoom in mo yun."
At ni-raise nya both arms nya at kinunek ang both thumbs nya with two index fingers pointing up the ceiling pa. para bang kukuha sya ng picture.
Tyempo namang bumalik na si Hero with his classmates.. They were talking about something and he's amused. He never even take a glance towards our direction. He just keep on walking and talking and laughing and... Smiling.
Why would he do that! That thing he does! Whyyy?!
Why does he have an effect on me?
" oh Bess, Bess, Bess..." siniko niya ako sa left arm at ni-level nya ulo nya sa ulo ko. Naka-bend to the right na sya sa porma nya.Nakaupo kase ako.
"O, ayan ipractice mo na. I-zoom in mo ng ganito." she raised her arms forward again while closing the other eye. She's acting like she's really trying to zoom in on Toot's crooked left canine tooth.
And I followed her prompt.
So dalawa na kaming naka-arms forward, thumbs parallel to the floor and touching at the tips, index fingers pointing up, heads collide. Me sitting while nakabend to the left torso sya to meet my left temple to her right temple... And at the center of our fingers, is Hero. We were trying to play pretend zooming in on his tooth when all of a sudden, Toot look over his shoulder to glance at us.
We were so consumed sa pagpre-pretend nang bigla sya tumingin sa amin. At nang marealize namin yun, dalidali naming itinaas ang mga kamay namin at nagpretend na naghihikab at nag-e-stretching at nagpretend akong may tinuro sa ceiling.
" Hi, maam! Hi, Tweety!" Hero greeted.
" Hi!" nagduet kami sa aming response.
Nang wala na sya, nagtawanan kami ni Bess. Nakita kong nag-iba smile nya when he looked away . Basta iba.
Naluluha na kami ni
Bess sa kakatawa. Ang sakit na ng tyan ko.
After what happened, the following days were easy na lang. Hindi na ako gloomy. Inspired na ulit.
And to my conclusion, confessing your feelings to a guy you really like
who doesn't like you back,
does not help you in forgetting you do like him.
