Hakuouki: Dragon Circles in Quiet Summer

Chapter 12

After a scolding from Hijikata and the three best friends that Souji and I ignored, I went to talk to Mei. Souji had said that she thought this was her fault.

Mei was in my room that I shared with her, drinking from a saké bottle. She was immediately alarmed and hid it behind her back. "It's okay, it's me." I say crouching in front of her. I used my thumb and wiped away the blood at the edge of her mouth.

She shyly moved the bottle back in front of her. She looked down in shame. "It's okay if you got hungry. After seeing my blood it's understandable. It shows you have good control. This is why I gave you this."

"I know... I'm-"

"Don't say sorry. It's just... After the attacks we've had and you being their hostage I just feel like I keep failing your mom. You have so much pain and it's because of me. It just drove me crazy thinking about all the ways I've hurt her. What happened to me wasn't a result of you, I just have a lot of unresolved feelings."

"I know... I was just mad when I heard you hurt my mom. But when I asked my mom why you didn't come back for her she told me because she told you not to. Because out of all the furies you had suffered the most. She said that if you ever came back she would hit you."

"That sounds like her." I chuckle.

"She also said that you wouldn't come back because you would be too busy living and enjoying life for us. She said that you'd never come back but she could remember you clearly and could imagine you now as if she could see you. She told me it was a clear picture of a girl in a cherry blossom tree looking out."

I was speechless. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, daring to fall down my cheeks. "Is it true she fell down and broke her arm when she tried to reach you?"

And just like that the tears were gone as I bursted out laughing. "She told you that?"

"Yep, she said you laughed and called her stupid. But she also said that was the first time she ever heard you laugh." I immediately quiet. "She said that usually it was a quiet and dark place but when you laughed it brightened everything up. She said it was the best thing she ever heard and it still made her smile."

"Your mom is an idiot." I say looking away.

"She said you always called her that too."

"She told you too much." I mumble.

"But I'm sorry about what I did today. I still shouldn't have acted like that." I just shrug.

"Do you feel better?" I ask. She nods hesitantly. "It's good to let out that anger. I usually train or spar with someone to let it out so try that next time." She nods still silent. "Have you ever lost control and turned into a real fury?" I ask.

"No, and I'm scared to." She whispers. "I almost did that today."

"I see... Next time you feel that feeling remember that only you can control yourself. Only you can decide what happens. And if you ever need to, if your ever forced to turn into a fury, don't lose your control. The ones that lose their control and hurt others are monsters. But as long as you stay in control and fight for what's worth fighting for, you are you. You will still be Mei. It takes a lot to do but as long as you have a strong resolve it can happen."

She looks up with wide eyes. "Can I actually do that?"

"When you're ready you'll know how to do it. I just hope it won't be before you're ready." She nods understanding but doubtful. "It happened to me when I wasn't ready. I was angry and sad and I couldn't handle it, I didn't know how. It just happened."