Hakuouki: Dragon Circles in Quiet Summer

Chapter 32

Yamazaki sat with me, watching the clouds go by from the stairs. I think he was suppose to get me to open up to him like I have, many times before.

"Yamazaki, you should know that the job I gave you... If I lose against him, you will have to kill me." I say watching a cloud begin to change form to make a new piece of the sky that could not be identified without its whole.

"We'll find a way." He says.

"Like salt, discipline can hurt and burn you. So it's best not to create wounds for them to burn. If you struggle against the discipline then it'll only hurt more. If you accept it, and stay still, the pain might go away."

"Where is this coming from?" I ignore him.

"You must know your roll when the time comes and remind them they're duties. And when you see they stray too far you stop them. And when they forget their roll, like me, you must end them. You are discipline, Yamazaki. It hurts but we still you're right. Like those times where you put me to sleep, it hurt but the reasons and outcomes were true, like you. But unlike those other times, I'm not only a danger to myself, I will be a danger to all things. Afterwards I won't wake up angry or with more new memories. No, when that happens, I'll stay asleep for as long as they want because they have disciplined me as such."

"Sakura..." But I don't say anymore. I just continue to look out at the sky.

~~~

The next day I wake up. "Sakura, you have to talk. You can't let yourself get down." Fuyu says. I sit up and everyone is their.

"Yeah, I know things are tough but I don't think shutting down will help either." Heisuke says

"Yeah, we're here for you every step of the way." Sano says.

"Yeah, we'll beat 'em up for you like you do for us." Shinpachi grins.

"I'd like to see the old Sakura again." Kondou smiles.

"It is vary dull without you. It just proves how much progress we both made with each other." Sannan smiles.

"You're a part of the Shinsengumi, so you need to act like one. Like you use to." Hijikata adds.

"You cannot say for sure what might've happened if you never had met us so you have to go off of what you already know. I believe you have to stick with it." Saitou says.

"For as many things you do for us, the conflicts you have had with yourself or caused is insignificant. Which is why I always try to push you to take things for yourself." Yamazaki says.

"Come on, I don't need to give a speech about something we both already know. We've made our promises to each other so we have to sick to it." Souji says grinning as he placed a cup of tea before me like a peace offering.

"I know you're really sad and all but you're still the strongest person to me." Mei says from beside Souji. I take the cup and they all smile.

But they're happiness dies down when I stand up and leave the room, closing the door. "Guess she still doesn't believe-" I hear them start to talk until I kneel over the side of the stairs and open my mouth to let all the salt that was in my mouth, fall out with a puff. I think they heard, that's why it got quiet.

They all stay silent and listen to me wash out the salt with tea, coughing and sputtering every grain out. When I'm done I let my head rest on the wooden pole. "I believe you." I say, loud enough for them to hear.

For now...

~~~

"Fuyu." He was obviously surprised that I was actually speaking to him.

"Yes?" He asks, grabbing my hand.

"The fire..."

"Is it too hot? You seemed-"

"No, the fire. Like burning love for those you wish to give it to... Love is beautiful, like cherry blossoms. But when you love someone, sometimes you have to teach them right from wrong, discipline."

"Yes... But where is this coming from?"

"At first, there is love. Burning love. But when you love someone you see their worse fears and view of life so you have to discipline them. But it hurts more if you struggle against the discipline. But when the discipline is done, it's beautiful. It covers over everything. And it's all better. No more pain, it's so soothing that it's beauty could put you to sleep with the best and worst of dreams."

"What are you trying to say?" He asks.

"That's all you need. To love someone enough to discipline them and see the beauty in them and the beauty of love so strong it makes you blind and deaf. So consuming that you'd do anything for that one you loved, anything. No matter how drastic, absurd, or... Dangerous. It wouldn't matter to who or what, or if it was wrong or not, or even if it was... Love is vary strong and powerful. It's dangerous in the wrong hands. More sharp than a blade, more deadly than poison. But sweeter than sugar and purer than water. It's an amazing thing."

"I don't need to know about you and the human." He says scowling.

"I wasn't talking about that. But... What I have with Souji isn't like the love I was talking about. It's different. This one is much lighter. Much more than doing something. It's giving back and taking at the same time. It's... More. I love him much more than the boundaries of what I could use him for but won't. It's more, that's all there is to it because it's just that indescribable. And I hate that now I'm at my worst. Which is why I don't want to speak with him. Because of what can happen in two days." I say standing up.

"Sakura..." But I stood up and walked away. "And you're quiet again."

I walked and then stopped in front of the door of the nearby room. I put my hand on the screen door for a moment before continuing on.

Souji...