Hakuouki: Dragon Circles in Quiet Summer

Chapter 15

"You doing okay?" Yamazaki asks.

"So you heard?" I grin lulling my head to the side so I could look at him from up in the tree.

"Yes, after I asked why Souji was acting down."

"He'll get over it." I say nonchalantly.

"So you're unaffected? I saw you two together before this, you cannot deny your feelings." I sigh and wave him up here. He hesitantly does and sits beside me.

"I'm not, it really hurts but I guess I accepted this as the result when it started. It's just something I've learned that happens to me. Nothing will last too long. Only until I use it up. Selfish is what I am but it's not something I want to stop." I whisper.

"How long have you thought that!?" He asks outraged.

"I've know since I was little and as time goes on there's only been more truth to it. I was thinking about where I could after this. After I know that Mei can handle herself on her own I was thinking about leaving." He can barley speak.

"W-what?"

"Don't be so shocked. I know I said I'd stay with all of you but your safety means more to me than my selfish desire. All of you deserve more than me."

"Sakura..."

"Yamazaki I-"

"That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard!" He yells at me.

"Exactly why I would do it. You may see me as your protector and I am. But you fail to see that I'm a threat. I've caused so much pain and anxiety but you overlook it because you believe me to be all good. This is the best thing for all of you." I feel a few tears drop on my hands. I wipe them away with a smile. "All of you are probably the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"No, you can't. Don't do this." I grin.

"I thought you would realize by now that I don't follow orders well. But I've already made up my mind the day I came back from my supposed death. Don't say anything or I'll just speed it up."

I give him no chance to persuade me otherwise.  No chance to put his protest. This wasn't an option to discuss and reason. It was a necessary sacrifice that I could not avoid. It was something I had to die to make truth to my promise to them: to keep them safe.

~~~

Yamazaki, after learning my decision and realizing I had backed him into a corner, began to spend more time with me. He ate and talked with me, avoiding the subject of my departure, and became more close to me. It was obvious he was against my decision.

He tried fruitlessly to get me to get back with Souji after he tried many time to make up with me but I refused. He didn't deserve my torture, he deserved more. I couldn't make him more attached to me than he already was.

But I spend more time with Mei. I teach her to fight and how to do other things on her own. I share the good stories of my past and tricks I've learned. I teach her to cook and she got much praise from everyone when I let her do it alone, although it was exaggerated it was still better than most of them.

I also train the others and go out with them more often to drink and eat out. I work harder at night now to clear things up but now I could feel my time was coming close. The day I would leave.

"I can feel you withdrawing. When are you leaving?" Yamazaki asks

"Maybe within a few days." I shrug.

"I... I can't let you do this." He says.

"Yamazaki..." I sigh. "We've been over this-"

"It's been a one sided conversation. You can't do this. You don't know how much we all depend on you. How hurt we'll be after getting you back after we thought you were dead only to lose you again."

"You'll hurt but only for a little while. Then you move on with your life with me as a distant memory. It's how life goes."

"Then I'll-"

"Please, don't. It'll just make things harder for them. I've been having a great time. I don't want to end it badly." He just turns away grumbling words I couldn't hear. It concerned me or maybe I was over thing it.

~~~

I was laying down under the tree when I heard running. I already recognized them as Souji's. I twirled a blade of grass in my hand, not looking at him. "Yamazaki sent you." I say when he stops in front of me.

"You aren't really gonna do it."

"I always have a way of proving people wrong. You should know that Souji." His eyes widen when he hears his name from my mouth. "I was never mad at you. I just wanted to push you away so you could be safe and you gave me the opening."

"You've been ignoring me for this!? We could've-"

"You would've felt it the hardest if I didn't put this distance between us." But suddenly he yanks me up angrily by the wrists.

"I still love you like this whole fight didn't happen! Are you saying that you think that I'd just lose that after a little fight!?" I chuckle at his anger.

"No, you'd just get use to not seeing or touching me all the time."

"Why are you so calm about this!?" He yells shaking me.

"Because it'll hurt more if I'm not." I say with a small smile. I tug my wrists from him and lay back down. "It's a pretty day today." I whisper.

"You're not leaving." He says making me smirk as I close my eyes. "Don't ignore me." I chuckle.

"Sorry, but your cute when your mad." He narrows his eyes. I sit up. "Come here and sit with me." He grudgingly does.

"You-" I cut him off with a kiss. I don't let him speak as I kiss him deeply until it begins to slow. I pull back.

"I love you." I whisper setting him down, moving my thumb from the place on his shoulder. "This is what you deserve."

I disappear, leaving him under the cherry blossom tree.