1. "I was searching for the reason I was able to remain as myself"
---
Ah, this feels nice. I think to myself, sitting on the railing of the bridge.
The sky was lit of with blissful red-orange, and the cool breeze blew against my brown locks. The waves of the river underneath the bridge were brushing past each other, and it looked inviting.
Then why wasn't I jumping?
That was what I came here for, after all.
I swung my legs freely, and looked up to the sun. It's almost time for it to set. Another day will have passed.
I stand up on the railing, and gasp when I almost fall down.
"Woah that was close!" I say to myself, then facepalm. I came here to commit suicide, why am I worried now? I think to myself.
Why can't I just jump in?
What am I scared of?
Okay, whatever, on the count of three...
One.
Two.
Thr-
"Miss, that is dangerous!" A young voice says, and the next thing I know, a pair of hands wrap around my waist and pulls me off the railing.
"Ouch!"
"Oh! I'm sorry, but what are you doing there?! Do you realize you could kill yourself?"
I look up from my daze and meet eyes with a boy of average height and a slim build. He looks around the age of 17 or 18, and I immediately notice his unusual iris colour of purple, dressed in formal clothing. He looks like an official, and I gulp.
Is he gifted too?
"Like I said, what on earth are you d-"
The boy is interrupted when someone slams the back of his head.
"THAT HURT!" The white-head cried, and I look up to see a man's face.
His short, dark brown wavy hair was messy and framed his face, and some of the bangs are gathered at the center of his forehead. He lifts up one of both the hands of his which is covered in bandage, and places it over his bolo tie.
He notices me looking at him, and gives a big frown before turning to face the white head.
"Atsushi-kun! If the beautiful lady wanted to commit suicide, you should have just let her join me in a double suicide!" The man says, and the white-head facepalms.
"Like I'd do that!"
"Miss. Let me join you." The man says, and takes my hand, pulling me up with one pull.
"Oi, Daz-"
"Bella donna, may we?" Dazai takes hold of my palm.
"Dazai-san! She wasn't trying to kill herself!" Atsushi cries, and Dazai faces me.
"It's written all over her face, are you stupid, Atsushi-kun?" Dazai says, and with a single leap, he jumps onto the railing, pulling me along with him.
Two seconds later, we're both falling to the river.
"Double-suicides are the best!" I hear him saying, before I hit the water.
When I rise up, I gasp for breath, moving around.
Why am I doing this? He just accelerated my attempt to kill myself, I should just stay still and drown in. I think to myself, when I see his face appear in front of me.
Damn, he looks hot. What a way to die.
"Wait, don't tell me you can't swim?!" He rasps, and I can't help but laugh.
"Of course I can't, what did you expect?" I ask, wondering why I am still unable to stay still.
"Seriously?!" He cries out. Groaning, he grabs hold of my waist and drags me to the riverside.
"YOU IDIOT! DAZAI-SAN!" We can hear screams coming from Atsushi, and he hits Dazai's head as hard as he could. I cough some more before I catch my breath.
"Um, Miss, are you okay? I'm so sorry Dazai-san did that!"
"I'm sorry." Dazai says, and stands up. "I really didn't think you were going to kill yourself, I thought you wanted to jump in and swim a bit."
"You're a dumbass!" Atsushi slaps Dazai's head again, and I find myself laughing.
"No worries, I actually was going to kill myself back then."
"Huh? But why would you...." Atsushi's voice trails off, and Dazai eyes me.
"What's your name?" He asks, and I take the hand he holds out before answering.
"Kira Chiyo."
"Kira-chan. Shall I treat you to some food?"
"Like I said, food doesn't solve everything, Dazai-san, the way it would to me." Atsushi faces me. "I'm surprised someone so pretty like you wanted to kill yourself. I don't know if this is going to convince you otherwise, but there are so many things you could do with your life to make it better, if that's the reason why you want to attempt suicide."
"How old are you?" Dazai asks a question again.
"19."
"She's a senpai, Atsushi-kun!"
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Kira-chan, I'm Dazai. Dazai Osamu." He says, ruffling through his thick, messy hair.
"Atsushi-kun. What do you say we give Kira-chan a treat of rice on tea?"
"Huhhh!?"
-----
What on Earth am I doing, delaying everything by eating rice here with these two random strangers?
Atsushi has a hearty appetite and is eating his fifth bowl of rice on tea by the time I help myself to only three bites.
"By the way, my name is Nakajima Atsushi, but just Atsushi will go fine!" He says in between slurping the remains of the tea.
"Chiyo Kira." Dazai says in a low voice, gazing at the painting of an ice cream platter that hung on the wall.
"Such a pretty name for a pretty person."
"Um, Dazai-san, can you not say stuff that would urge her into joining you in your stupid suicide attempts?"
"Ah, I just thought of something, memo memo!"
I can't help but find Dazai adorable. It was obvious that Dazai was the older one amongst the two, but he behaved like a little kid.
And what is with that way he says my name? It's like a harmony, when it's in his voice.
"Kira-chan, why don't you tell us why you wanted to kill yourself?"
---
a/n: chap 1 out YAY. welcoming self into the bsd fandom as i slowly drown in the love of suicidal maniac dazai suicide osamu. ♥ ;-;
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Call Out My Name • Dazai Osamu ✔
Fanfiction"When two suicidal people meet, there's no turning back," is what everyone in the Armed Detective Agency thought. Heck, that's what Dazai and Kira thought too. But it wasn't just the suicide thing that strung them together. Call it something cheesy...
