Call Out My Name • Dazai Osamu ✔

｢13/31｣

13. "Am I allowed to believe that everyone can find happiness, even me?"

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Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me.

When I reach back to the Agency, it is 8.30. Well, that was one short visit.

Did he really ask me to meet him to talk about Port Mafia?

What a waste.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke. He is 20 years old, and has an abilty that does one thing better than the rest.

Kill.

But the same Akutagawa did not try to kill me.

Even when I denied his offer, he didn't try to kill me.

He bought ice cream. For me. We had ice cream.

Good lord, what is happening to the world I am living in?

I then freeze on my spot when I remember what Akutagawa said earlier.

Dazai is an ex-port Mafia member.

Is that really true?

Akutagawa isn't really the type to make stuff up, as far as I can tell. I really will need to confirm it straight out of ​​Dazai himself. And if Kunikida or anyone else finds out, it won't be a very nice scene. I should keep my big mouth shut.

I knock on the door three times, and when I get no reply, I slowly open the door.

Inside, Dazai is sitting on the futon, rolling bandage around his hands.

Normally, he would throw away the bandages to a side and give me a warm greeting.

But today, he gives me a simple nod and continues rolling his bandage.

After debating whether I should say something or not, I put my coat away and take off my shoes.

"I'm back."

"Mm." He says, and continues his business.

God. This is bad. I don't like this Dazai, I love the friendly, overly excited and childish Dazai.

Did I just say love?

I give my own face a slap, before I close the door shut.

What should I do? I can't stand Dazai hating me. Not when he's the one that saved me.

Not once. Or twice. But multiple times.

Why have I made the person who was the most special to me be so upset?

I am internally whining as I make my way inside the room and sit in front of him.

Dazai shifts in his seat, not losing concentration on the pattern of rolling his bandage. I am at awe, as I look at his face.

He really is beautiful. Or whatever words you would use to describe a man. All that? That defines Dazai Osamu, the owner of the ability that nulls out any other ability.

Under the yellow-orange light of the ceiling lamp, Dazai's brown eyes glow, and the tips of his hair look as if they are shining. His lips are pressed into a thin line, and I gulp before I think about what to say. Dazai makes no attempt to even look at me, much less take note of the fact that I'm sitting right in front of him.

"Dazai."

The 22-year old slowly puts away the bandages, and rolls his sleeves back to the way he usually does. He then grabs the collar of my blouse and pulls me closer before he locks lips with me.

His lips feel warm, tastes like cherry, and are slightly chapped. My eyes go wide as I look at the way his eyes are closed, as if he has no other care in the world. With his free hand, he is holding my hair tight so that I can't move away.

It wasn't like I tried to, though.

After a bite on my bottom lip, he moves away and opens his eyes.

No reply. He does not reply at all. Not even a motion from his head.

"D-Dazai... Why?" My voice comes out coarse and raspy.

"You taste like chocolate ice cream." He whispers back. He then picks up a piece of paper from his pocket and puts it on my lap.

"Can you answer why?" He asks, standing up.

I cannot think of one single word I can say in reply. And the fact that the paper is the one I had received from Akutagawa, was no help.

Dazai eyes me for a minute before he grabs his coat and walks off.

The door closes with a loud thud, and I close my eyes in frustration.

"I SUCK." I wail, falling down face flat on the futon.

"He hates me." I say aloud, looking at the paper.

But if I had known this would happen, would I still have gone to meet Akutagawa?

Does Dazai know I went to meet him? Was that why he was mad?

Damn, I couldn't even ask if he really used to be in the Port Mafia.

I close my eyes, and hug one of Dazai's pillow.

It's so funny, but this smells so familiar. It's Dazai. Dazai is written all over it. But why do I know it so well? This cannot be good for my health.

A knock on the door makes me sit up straight. Once again, I find that it is Ranpo.

This time, he doesn't need me to go buy candy with him. This time, he lowers his gaze and asks me to follow him.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Well, the Prez found out you went to meet Akutagawa. I hate to say it but you're kind of in trouble." He says in a ​​​​​​low voice.

"Huh? But how..."

"I'm sorry, Kira. But used my ability because the Prime asked me to. I didn't think it would turn out to be... him." He says.

I have nothing to say in reply to him. I know that he is at no fault there, and that I am to blame.

I can feel my heart beating wildly as I walk upstairs alongside Ranpo.

My biggest worry at the moment is being kicked out of the Agency.

That was the last thing I wanted.

When I walk into the Agency room, the President is sitting in the middle seat, and everyone is waiting for me.

Everyone.

Akiko, Kunikida, Tanizaki, Naomi, Kenji, Atsushi, Kyouka...

And Dazai.

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