Call Out My Name • Dazai Osamu ✔

｢10/31｣

10. "When your heart floods with loneliness and begins to waste away..."

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"Kira-san, I heard what happened about Dazai-san. Is he okay?" Atsushi asks, when I enter the cafeteria the next morning. I join him in the line to get some food.

"Yeah I think he's fine. I tried to wake him up but he waved me away. I think he's still a little drunk." I say, picking up a tray.

"Dazai-san is so careless." Atsushi says in an annoyed tone. He pours some cereal in a bowl, and proceeds in line.

"Kira."

I stop walking and find Kunikida standing behind me.

"Here, this came for you. Well, I'm assuming it's for you, because it says 'Agency's Rain Girl' on the cover." He places a pale white envelope on my tray, then walks out.

"Rain Girl? What's that, Kira-san?" Atsushi wants to know.

I shrug, and we walk to the nearest table.

Of course, there was only one person who'd call me Rain Girl, that was for sure.

I take a sip of water, and take in a deep breath. Atsushi's gaze is on me as I slowly tear open the envelope. Inside is a letter in three folds, and I open up the letter.

'Next Friday, outside that pharmacy, 6.30pm.'

I'm pretty sure my eyes would have been wider than Frisbees. I couldn't really blame the poor kid when he begins to tremble.

"D-Did someone threaten to kill you?"

I debate whether I should tell Atsushi about this. He would definitely be against me going, if he found out it was from someone who tried to kill his, mine, and Kyouka's life just yesterday.

More than that, what could Akutagawa possibly want to meet with me for?

And excuse me, but isn't he trying to kill me?

Well, he did say he wanted to take me alive, but he did use his Rashomon against me.

And that hurt like hell.

"It's just a letter from... an old friend."

Atsushi lets out a loud sigh of relief.

"For a moment there," He stuffs his mouth with a spoonful of fruit cereal. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Good morning." Kyouka greets us, standing beside Atsushi with a bowl of fries in hand.

"Good morn- Didn't I tell you to stop eating fries at this time? You should be eating more protein during breakfast!"

Atsushi's mom-rants are ignored by the 14 year-old, and she stuffs her mouth with a handful of fries. A couple seconds later, one of the workers brings her another bowl filled with pudding.

"Are you kidding me?!" Atsushi groans.

A while later, Kenji joins us with a single bowl of oatmeal.

"Good morning, Kenji."

"Wah, good morning, Kira-chan! How's Dazai-san?"

"He's still sleeping. I think he's okay, I'll take him some breakfast when I leave." I let him know, and he gives me a thumbs up.

"Seriously, he's such a weird person. I still haven't been able to guess where he works at. You know, he said if we guess right, he'd give the person 700 thousand yen. I've been a failure in that so far."

A place where Dazai used to work huh...

Hmm...

I rest my face on my hand, and try to think of different occupations.

"Argh, my mind just went blank! I can't think of a single thing he might have done!"

'Same here! I think I've said all the possible job out there but I never seem to get it right."

"Atsushi-kun, can we go to the carnival today?" Kyouka wants to know. Atsushi blows raspberries before he picks up his phone.

"I'll have to ask Kunikida-kun. And if the Agency needs us, we're rushing right back. Okay?"

The indigo-haired girl nods her head up and down with enthusiasm enough to knock us over.

I hurry to finish up my food, and after picking up some food for Dazai, I walk back to his room.

When I reach the room, I see that Dazai is awake.

"Oh shit, did I do anything stupid?" He wants to knows, sitting up on the bed. I realize that he must be worried about him doing something wrong while he was drunk.

What a cutie!

"Nope, you weren't much different than when you're sober." I say, placing his food on the counter. Dazai spots the food, and he immediately gets an attractive smile on his face. I have to look away, because I can feel my cheeks getting red.

When Dazai doesn't say anything for a long while, I glance back up at him. He has a frown on his face.

"I have a feeling you mean that I'm just as stupid when I'm sober, as when I am, drunk." He pouts.

"No no, you got it all wrong! You really didn't do anything bad. You just had two cups of coffee and you dozed off."

"That's terrible, you should have slept on the be-"

I ruffle Dazai's hair and laugh. "Don't worry about it, Dazai-san."

The brown-haired man blinks at me in wonder, before he averts his gaze from me. His focus then lands on the fried chicken and vegetable rice I had brought for him.

"Do you.... Get annoyed when I ask you to make coffee for me?"

"I'll make you some now." I give him a smile, and walk inside the kitchen.

And the oddest thing of all, is that I could feel his gaze on me the entire time.

What is happening to the world I live in?

---

If I went to meet Akutagawa, I'd be defenseless like when I went to the pharmacy with him.

Well, he didn't do me any harm. I don't see the point of backing out.

But Akutagawa did say he wasn't gonna be reckless and fight against me when he had no orders from the Mafia.

Okay, but how do you know he doesn't have orders now, Kira? A voice in my head asks.

Damn it.

I am pretty sure Dazai will kill me if I went ahead.

Speaking of Dazai....

"Kira-chan, are you even listening?" The lad groans. We are both back in Dazai's room, lazing around.

"Eh? Ah sorry, I was a little distracted! What did you say?"

Dazai puffs his cheeks in reply and stares at me. I tilt my head in confusion, and he shakes his head and moves away.

"So yeah, the Atsushi and Kyoukai pair is out, Akiko and Ranpo went off to a movie, Kunikida-kun went to visit his dad, and Kenji is on a special mission with the Chief. We're the only ones around, what do you want to do, Kira-chan?"

"Dazai, can you tell me everything you know about Akutagawa?"

Dazai's face becomes expressionless, and he stands up from where he is sitting on the counter. He then sits beside me on the bed.

In fact, he is sitting so close, that his arms brush against mine. I gulp before I glance up at him.

"Something happened with him, when I wasn't around, right?"

He is sitting so close to me that I don't have the guts to lie.

"Y-Yes."

"What happened?"

I look away to my feet, the ceiling, everything, and anything except Dazai himself.

"Kira-chan. Tell me." He says in a serious voice.

I have no choice.

"Akutagawa showed me directions yesterday when I was out buying medicine for you."

"Akutagawa did what?!" He begins to laugh.

Not just any kind of laugh, a really loud laugh, as if he couldn't believe me.

In fact, he didn't.

"I've known Akutagawa for ages and I can guarantee you that's not something he's likely to do. You probably got the wrong person." He lets me know, and stands up.

"I'm going out to the riverbank. Do you want to come with me?"

After you wouldn't believe what I told you?

Not a chance, hottie.

"Er no thanks. I'll just read a book or something." I murmur. Dazai gives me a simple nod before he walks off.

Dazai didn't believe me.

Dazai.

Are you kidding me?!

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