M.V.P ARMY GUIDE TO SENPAI

Letter From Senpai #3

Hard times.

We all have them...

I know up until now, this book has been good and fun but right now, I kind of need to get this off my chest.

I'm not usually the type to rant on the internet or anything about personal things or my feelings but lately things have gotten out of hand.

What I mean by this is, I'm feeling discouraged and very down.

All I have is my faith in God and it's enough for me.

Then there are days when I feel so alone.

I know I have my friends but it isn't enough.

Smiling and being happy on the outside but rotting on the inside.

Trying to find a way out but living in a closed space.

I'm happiest when I'm writing and at my full potential when I'm at church. I know that that's something not at a lot of people can relate too but I do believe that God is great and some day I'll be looking back on all of this and be able to say "That's where I was." Nothing bad lasts forever, life isn't always going to be some black hole.

But we just gotta keep fighting, keep our heads up.

Although, it's hard when what you're going through pushes you down so hard it almost feels like you can't get back up. It feels like no matter what you do it somehow gets worse over time...

I know that I have my God, he's never left me. Even in my darkest moments he's been my strength and pulled me through so much already...

I have wonderful friends, I'd say they're more like my family. I also have amazing MVPs that have my back no matter what and I am so blessed.

But there are days when things seem so dark to me, days in which I feel like they get the best of me.

Even so...

I'm reminded of the good things in life. Like being alive, every day that I awake is a gift. I can walk, talk, use my arms, my eyes...I'm reminded that even if I am feel alone and that the darkness seems to overwhelm me, I'm not alone. Ever. When the darkness comes, there is always a light and that light is my God.

I can confide in each and everyone of you as well, I truly mean it when I say that you're a blessing...I honestly don't even know how to thank you. It's so amazing to me that there's so many of you and reminded that you're out there. That you guys support me and one another. We're a family.

As I began to write this, I thought to myself...

Do I really want to share this?

And I do.

When you have hard times, when you think there's no way out...Always count your blessings. Always remember that you are loved and that no evil or darkness will prevail in your life.

I got a message earlier. I was talking to someone and what they said touched my heart.

Don't cry God has everything in control just like you said. Keep that smile on your face and that happiness that remains in your mind, heart and soul (: Just like It reflects on you it'll always touch others, they'll see it and God's power will be manifested, shared through us.

Many times, we don't understand why we go through hardships but the beauty of it all is that someday you'll look back on everything and say "That's where I was."

One of my favorite bible verses is, Jeremiah 29:11.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Even when what you're going through tries to keep you down, he always has a plan.

There's also a very nice song called Tell Your Heart To Beat Again.

Yesterday's a closing door, you don't need that anymore.

Aside from the fact that I was truly feeling down and plain out of it when beginning to write this, that song is probably one of the most uplifting songs I've heard. Today might've been bad but by tomorrow that will be a closed door, a thing of the past and tomorrow will be a new day, a day I can start a new.

I'd just like to take a minute to say that you all mean so much to me. I do read you comments, your messages, the messages on the message board. It makes me smile and warms my heart, on bad days...no matter how bad. I am reminded of all my blessings and my blessing include all of you.

My closest friends taebabes & misshobie the ones who always make me smile even when I'm about to cry. I can't even imagine my life without them, truly the greatest people I've come to know.

Thus, I leave you all with this letter.

It isn't so you'll feel sorry for me or think I'm on the verge of going crazy or doing something crazy haha. Because that's not what I'm about, if anything I go against everything that stands for self harming etc. So don't worry too much, it's just something I wanted to share because I know that at some point in time we all feel this way and also because I wanted to show you guys who I am and be like closer to you.

All in all...

Just know that there will always be someone willing to listen and be there for you. Someone that loves you and cares about you.

I'll be there for you too, if you ever need anything (*^▽^*)

Always feel free to get in touch with me.

Thank you again for everything.

Love,

K_Senpaixx

P.S: Thank you for always encouraging me to be the best I can be💕

#MVPARMY4EVER