M.V.P ARMY GUIDE TO SENPAI

Dear MVPs

Where do I even start?

It's been a while.

Talking to you directly and letting you know what's going on in my life.

If I'm okay or if I'm not.

The truth is, I'm still coping with some demons in life. It's been really hard. I'm keeping it real with you and I'm being as honest as can be.

It's nothing to get alarmed about nor is it something to get scared about.

Everyone deals with dark times in their life.

Somethings just take longer to deal with.

The way I cope with it may not be the way you or anyone else does but lately I find myself more and more anxious to just stop.

I feel exhausted.

I feel burdened.

I feel as if I'm nothing more than a walking corpse.

Depression?

Some days it is.

Suicidal tendencies?

No. Life is worth living.

Unhappiness?

Some days.

What I mean is...

There are days when I question, "Is this all I'll amount to in life?"

For a little over a year I've been wanting to edit and publish UER. It's honestly my dream to do that, I'd love nothing more than to make my readers proud in achieving this.

The way I express myself in my writing is just a projection of how I truly feel. The sorrow emotions come from within just as the anger, happy and other things. Many of you have noticed this about me and you're absolutely right, when I project sadness in my characters it is a glimpse and feeling of how I feel.

It's something I share with you.

It makes me happy that there's still people that follow and read my work. It's truly an inspiration for me, you are all my inspiration. Everything I write is for you.

All I want is to achieve my goal.

To feel satisfied knowing you're content.

To feel proud.

To feel appreciated.

To feel loved.

To feel accomplished.

On that note...

I would briefly like to express my sadness for the death of Jahseh Onfroy also known as rapper XXXTENTACION. Everyone all over the media is so focused on the negative that it honestly pains me, a life was lost. A young life. Only 20, he was more than what everyone made/makes him out to be. He isn't and wasn't a monster. He was a caring, sweet, loving human being that wanted nothing more than to redeem himself in a society that wanted to see him plummet down. He was a guy that wanted to show that even those who made mistakes could change for the better and help the ones who felt and were going trough that same situation.

His positivity shut down by everyone focusing on the bad but regardless he moved forward and proved that once your mind is made up, don't give in. That you're worth more than any of the riches of this earth. That you deserve only the best.

No one leads a perfect life.

No one can say "I never made a mistake that I regret"

He had changed so much and he spoke about REAL issues everyone else was too afraid to do. He spoke to his fans directly and always offered to be there for them when they felt lonely. He knew what it was like to be beat down and unloved, shunned and tossed away, forgotten and alone.

He was planning a charity event for Saturday .

A young man with good intentions found himself in the hands of someone so materialistic with bad intentions...

I cannot express the heartbreak I feel. He truly was one of a kind. A true inspiration and an artist. So much to offer but was taken away. Despite everything they say, all the negative, he will always be loved by his fans and remembered through his music.

Thank you:

Yes. You.

The fact you read this.

You took the time to open and read this even though you really didn't have too. But I am forever grateful that I have you. My MVPs are what make me. You're the reason I want to keep writing and bettering myself as well as bettering my situation.

I love you all. I love more than I love myself. Your support is what keeps me here ❤️🌹