TMI One-Shots

I Can't Help But Want You

This whole thing is gonna be a lot of stuff, from longer one-shots, to little AU's and headcanons. All because I enjoy making you cry over feelings just as I have done many. . .many. . . many times. I own nothing and all characters belong to Cassandra Clare. If I quote anything I'll give credit. Set right before Alec and Lydia's wedding. ._. 

Also please please please comment and give feedback! I've got two doze reads which is amazing like I didn't think i'd get ten that's how bad I think my writing is. Also I don't know how to put my story "out there". So please comment and follow cause it would make my day! (My life is sad like that.)

The suit he had on was tight and itchy around the collar, and Alec found himself fiddling with it from time to time. It really wasn't that bad, but it was a welcome distraction for the upcoming event. I can't believe I'm doing this. . . that was the only thought running through his mind as he paced the floors. Despite trying to get into a rhythm and stop his mind from wandering, he couldn't help it.

The first thing he thought of was not an event, or a something. It was someone. He knew pacing wouldn't help. Alec started licking his chapped lips and wringing his hands as certain scenes came, unbidden into his mind. They were, of course, of times he had shared with Magnus. Magnus.

He was right, about his feelings, and Alec's. Alec was no experienced person when it came to dating or liking someone, but he knew that there was no ignoring how the spiky haired, sharp witted warlock made him feel.

The way his breath caught in his throat whenever they were together, or the way his heart leaped when he saw Magnus. And he wasn't going to deny it. But it was too late to go down that rabbit hole. Too late to see what might have been, if circumstance had let it.

Alec was reminded of the first time they met, not face to face, but the first time he saw him. That night, at the club, Magnus had been just another person that their mission had entailed. Get information to get the cup, to get Clary's mother back, and get the cup to the Clave.

Alec really hadn't noticed any change in his emotions until they had summoned the demon at Magnus's apartment. The way Magnus held his hand out to him, like offering himself along with it. The way Magnus could go from coy flirting to genuine emotion.

The way he took things slowly, and never made a move, because he could see the way Alec felt. And the way Alec's own fingertips felt as if they had sparks dancing up and down them.

At that time, Magnus was just another person in the crowd, but he was beginning to like him. Not as fierce and genuine as he did now, but almost as an experiment. As a gentle step away from the Painfully bright golden light that was Jace Wayland.

Oh no, Jace. Alec's parabatai and long time crush had caused some of his mixed feelings as well. He knew it was totally and absolutely forbidden for two parabatai to fall in love but Alec had gone and done it anyway. But maybe it wasn't that kind of love.

For the longest time, Jace was there, always there. They grew up as brothers, but to Alec there was always something more. It could be because Jace was just available, and all the love he could have felt was directed at him. Or that he had nursed their parabatai bond love as if it was something more.

It had to be that , for however brightly Jace burned, Magnus was brighter, but more sensitive. Jace was the sharp, blinding light of Angels, and Magnus the softer light of a slow burning fire. All that was certain was that however brightly either of them burned, it was now Magnus's face the was printed on the backs of his eyelids, and he was seeing less and less of Jace's golden light.

"What about love? Your heart beats faster as they walk by. Your skin tingles, every time they enter a room. I know you feel what I feel. . ." (Not mine, that was a quote from Freeform. Obviously)