The Rebel (#Wattys2016)

35. Thanks To You

Adeen stared at Skander, who sat on his usual seat besides his father. Throughout the dinner, he'd been quiet, looking down at his food, avoiding Adeen's gaze. Nevertheless, Adeen kept staring at him, knowing the weight of her gaze would someday make him look up. Unsaid words tingled on her tongue.

"So." June said as she cleared her throat. "Did you two fight or something?"

Adeen looked sideways at her friend and nodded.

"Something like that."

"Something you said or something he said?"

"Something I said. But I'll apologize, I just need to speak to him."

June stayed silent for a second, then.

"Alright."

Adeen nodded, taking a new bite to her mouth, her eyes staying on Skander. Finally, he looked up, his blue eyes unsure and weary, the opposite of a King's. He found Adeen, who blinked. She looked at the doors leading out of the dinning hall and then back to him. Seconds later he nodded slightly, understanding Adeen's unspoken words. The Prince cleared his throat and pushed his food away.

"Lady Adeen, would you please accompany me outside?" He asked politely, earning a stare from his father.

Adeen nodded and stood up.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Skander stood up and walked to her, extended his arm and they left the room, arm in arm, but a distance between them. Adeen could feel the eyes of the Selected on her, just like the first day when they'd stared at them teasing each other. But now the envy in their eyes was replaced by perplexity at their sudden coldness. Skander led them to Adeen's room again, and she knew that if she did nothing, she'd loose him again, maybe for good this time. So, as they stopped, as Adeen searched inside her head for the speech she'd prepared, Skander stared at her. Adeen, panicking at her loss of her speech, looked at him, and didn't give him time to react before pressing her lips against his.

For a few terrifying seconds, Skander was still. But then, his lips began moving, and Adeen kissed him harder, as if she could drill a hole through the walls surrounding her, and through the ice that had covered them both. Finally she pulled back and took in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, I—." She looked down, blushed. "I had this whole speech about being sorry and I just forgot. But I'll do my best." She looked up and forced herself to look at him in the eyes, summoned every ounce of queen-ness she had and began speaking. "I do not like blaming my problems on where I come from, but my past does change me. I have been hurt before, a dozen times. And I built these walls around myself to protect me from pain. My mind is like a fortress. First, there's the stone wall, the weakest one that anyone can climb on and pass it. Then there's the glass one, where you may feel like you're inside but actually you're in the outside, and not many people are able to look through the illusion. These few people then pass to the only remaining wall. This wall is the toughest, and it has barbed wire and it's electrified and it's like I lost control of it a long time ago, because I hurt everyone who gets too close to it.

"Those who make it this far stare at me through the fence's holes and know I am screaming for help, begging for mercy and to stop hurting. But this electricity keeps going and going and soon enough it hits them, and they run away. And I don't blame them. After all, who would risk their life for a broken girl inside a wall of electricity?" Adeen sighed. "But you didn't. You didn't climb the first wall; you broke through it like breaking through the water's surface when you swim. And when you came to the second wall, you didn't wait and analyze it, you knew from the beginning what it was and you pounded your fists on it and, as easy as breaking paper, it shattered. But my third wall is the most resistant, and it's strong, and although you are capable of rattling the stars, you are weary of it." Adeen waited a minute, staring at Skander, who stared back. "I don't blame you. It's a terrifying wall. And it hurts so much to be hurt by it. But you can see through it better than anyone else. Skander, you know me. You held me until I fell asleep and you almost martial law-ed an entire country when I went missing. And you saw the parts of me that are ugly and with a few kisses you fixed them and suddenly I wasn't this broken girl, I was someone worth fighting for." Adeen smiled sadly. "I realized the only way to turn off the electricity of the wall is to turn it off in the inside. So, I don't blame you for being weary, after all, you're fighting twice as hard as I am." Adeen dared to reach for Skander's face with her hand, laying her palm gently on his cheek. He didn't pull away. "Skander, I don't blame you for running away. I don't. Leave me here and I will fight to bring down that wall, and you go out there and live your life happily. You deserve that and so much more."