Deadpool vs. Hit-Girl

Chapter Three: Deadpool vs. Hit-Girl

Mindy lay on her purple bed, looking up at the ceiling. Remembering her Daddy. 'You'll do good, my Baby Doll' his words echoed in her head. She breathed out, and heaved herself up.
She had to wash her suit. It was kinda covered in bad-guy blood. She should've worn red. She looked one more time at the picture on her wall, and wiped a tear from her eye. 'Shit. I'm going soft, Daddy, I'm going soft.' grumbled Mindy to the photo.

She dragged her dirty costume to the kitchen, and put it unhygienically in the sink. She turned on the hot water tap, and began scrubbing the crap out of the thing with a sponge. The water in the sink went crimson red. 'Now it's time for you to get ready, too.' - those were the words that set her on the path to becoming Hit-Girl.

Around a year ago, an event occurred that would change her view of the world forever. A programme was aired on televisions all over New York, titled 'KICK-ASS: UNMASKED'. Little did Mindy know that her Daddy would also be in one of the starring roles of this macabre affair. A group of thugs, which had been working for gang boss Frank DeMico, had somehow captured Dave Lizewski and her Daddy. The f****** monsters then beat the two heroes ruthlessly, using an arsenal of hideous weapons. Once they were both nothing but bloody, unconscious wrecks, the ruthless, evil scum then torched them both with a f****** flamethrower. Kick-Ass made it out alive. Mindy's Daddy died in her arms.

From that day onwards, Mindy had vowed that she would spread the vengeance for her Daddy's death around the whole country. Everywhere would feel the wrath of Hit-Girl.

She left the saturated suit in the sink, and skulked off to the living room area of the house. There were some of her Daddy's best weapons mounted on the walls of the dingy, square room. Her Daddy was a great father. He would always give her a share of the bad-guys to kill. He wore a black-grey armoured suit, complete with yellow belt. He had called himself 'Big Daddy'. It had been Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, against the world.
Hit-Girl turned on the TV with her foot.  She was greeted by the news.
Shit.
Apparently a large coach full of people was being held captive at gunpoint by a man in a red and black mask. This city had costumed freaks running around too. She heard that this was currently happening outside a building containing a prestigious government figure, who was presumed to be the target of this attack. She walked into the kitchen.

As she left the house, she grabbed a C4 detonator and her lucky knife. 

1 hour earlier.

'Yeah, sorry that my last story ended so abruptly. The writer realised that his story was going to go on for too long. So of course I just managed to murder Ace of Knives alarmingly quickly; which is really going to make you wonder how I have such difficulty handling Hit-Girl later in the chapter.' chatted Deadpool animatedly to seemingly no-one in particular.

When Adsit came back into the room, he found Wade standing facing the wall, again, wearing very little. 'Do you want the unicorn?' Asked Adsit unhappily.
'Wait, you bought me another unicorn!?' Exclaimed Deadpool.
'Yeah, you paid cash.' Grumbled the glorified housekeeper.
'I didn't actually want the unicorn at that moment. I was just getting dressed and talking to them.'
'Who's them?' Inquired Adsit.
'Oh, I mean the readers!' Replied Deadpool, believing that this statement was nothing out of the normal.
'Ok, moving on. You have a new target.'
'Oh excellent! How much will I be getting. Wait, let me guess... 69,000 again? It's still funny!'
Adsit facepalmed.
'No, the exact sum hasn't been decided yet, but it'll be big!'
'What, like my-'
'NO!' Adsit yelled.
'Fine, I'll be mature for a bit.' Sighed Wade.
Adsit left the room again, not believing that for a second.
Deadpool then followed him into the kitchen, passing a poster of Wolverine in pink underwear which he had put up with much objection from Adsit.
Wade then leaned on the kitchen counter, and casually asked Adsit.
'Do you think I'm hot?'
Adsit was stunned, being around 50 years old.
'Sorry, I was talking to Wolvie. What's the next mission?'