Long Gone

4. Get Laid

*this chapter contains mature content*

I woke up. Even though I wished to never wake up. I still did. Suddenly realization hit through me. I tried killing myself. It was the second time I tried to kill myself.

I tried to kill myself but failed miserably. At this point I finally realized one more thing. I realized that NOBODY, not even DEATH wanted me. I was still holding on to myself. Then I realized yet another thing.

Why should I hold on? I'm worthless, I'm scarred, I'm numb, I'm flawed, I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm lonely, I'm useless, I'm broken, I'm sick, I'm unloved, I'm horrible, I'm fragile, I'm ugly, I'm tired. I have nothing to live for rather than the stupid revenge. Can I really hurt the people who I loved? No, I love. The people who hurt me? Yes! I will.

I open my eyes and see Al entering my room with a table in his hand. He smiled at me and I smiled back the best I could. He had breakfast in his hand. I looked at the time. 4:45. I raised an eyebrow and he just shrugged.

"Y'know, you don't have to do the fake smile in front of me. I know you're breaking inside day by day but Nik, you will get better, life will get better." Oh Al I wish it could. I nodded. "Breakfast!" he beamed. Pancakes! Waffles and Chocolate milk and 2 cookies. This boy knows me a bit too well. He put the breakfast in front of me and I dug in. forgetting that I just tried to die.

This was the thing about Al, he knows me a bit too well. He knows when I need his best friend side, he knows when I need his boyfriend side, and he knows when I need his big brother side. Although the big brother side only came when there was a boy around me.

"Pig." he muttered playfully making a fake disgusted face. I chuckled and gulped down the food.

"Says the guy who bangs a new girl every 4 hours" I replied and continued eating. He made a 'tsk' sound and kept a hand on his heart.

"Right at the heart Nik! Right at the heart." He said and I chuckled. It reminded me of Him. He had the same cocky, playful and flirty personality. The asshole who broke my heart. The asshole who will pay for it.

"Nik, Can I ask you something?" he said. I nodded. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"You wanted me to be happy" I said coldly and turned my head not wanting to look him in the eye. His smile faded but recovered fast enough.

"You need to get laid." He says going into my closet searching something that I could wear. He came back with a cute outfit. I must say this boy had so damn good fashion sense. He brought a black bodycon dress that had net for sleeves and neckline with a black ankle strap platform. [Outfit on A.N.]

I dressed up and did my makeup and Al stared at me the whole time with some snide comments in between about how he would like to fuck me today and not let any other guy near me and I chuckled.

Don't judge me! He is the person I lost my virginity to, well kinda. He is the first person I had sex with, willingly. Just for my defense, I had a proper reason. I am just too tired of people using me and I know that they will only use me. Al is the one person who I know I could trust, He is the person I know won't use me. I know he actually cares for me. I didn't want to waste it on some asshole or some DICK.

Am I'm glad I did. Even though so much happened there is still not even a pinch of awkwardness. We have a weird bond. I told Al that I'm ready and he took me out. It was 7:30 now. 3 hours went by too fast. I hopped behind him on the motorcycle, in this very uncomfortable dress.

After 20 minutes or so we reached there. I got down and he parked. We entered the club showing our fake Id's. It was crazy. Everyone completely drunk. People dancing, grinding, sitting at the bar picking up guys or girls. I started walking towards it and sat down on the bar stool. Al was already gone.