Long Gone

16. Wake up

            

I wake up with a jolt. That was probably a nightmare. Definitely a nightmare, although I don't remember falling asleep here. Suddenly a familiar face appears in front of me. A face that I've grown to hate.

Am I still in my nightmare?

"Are you okay" He says. I sit up.

"What are you doing here?" I ask rather bluntly.

"I saw you passed out from my window so I came in" He says.

"Oh" it's all I can say. I still don't understand what happened. I need to talk to Al. "I'm okay. You can't leave now" I say and go to my closet. When I come back, he's gone. I walk downstairs into the kitchen. Just as I enter I see mum standing there making pancakes. Pancakes? Is she high?

"Oh! You're home! Come eat" she says and motions me to sit. I smile a bittersweet smile and sit across from her since I really am not in a mood to argue and it's PANCAKES! They always taste good.

As I sit, she serves me a plate and I start eating. I drift off to my stupid nightmare. I've never had one like this before. It just felt so real, I can still hear his voice and see his dwarfy frame. The thought of him returning gives me tremors. I don't think that's even possible because I vaguely remember kill him with my own hands.

My thoughts suddenly shift to the familiar boy who I have fallen out of love with. He was in my room. He still remembers. But I cant let that distract me because that person hurt me the most. More than Mike ever did. Mike might've ruined me but he fixed me and then ruined me all over again. The worst part of it was, I didn't even realize he was like Mike, except he was sweeter and a liar.

I finish my pancakes and keep the dishes in the dishwasher. I give my mother a nod and rush up to my room. We are mostly formal. I am not a big fan of display of affection with any of my family members. I should probably change. These clothes are making me uncomfortable. I walk into the closet and pull out yoga pants and a blue addidas crop top. Just as I walk to my window to close the curtains, I am greeted by a very disgusting and a bit heartbreaking sight.

It's two of my old best friends FUCKING.

IT'S JESS AND HIM.

I suddenly feel anger and a bit of betrayal. I shouldn't feel this way or even think about it. They both mean nothing to me. No matter what. I don't care if they live or die or fuck.

He said he was making things right. This is how he makes things right!?

It didn't mean he loves me or even likes me. He was probably talking about friendship.

By cheesy pickup lines?

I fucking hate it that you're right!

Oh hon, I'm always right!

Fine! Now go and fuck someone.

Oh! I forgot.

I roll my eyes inwardly. My subconscious is evil!

I get back to the matter at hand. Jess is beneath him as he kisses her rather sloppily. Disgusting!

I remember his saliva being all over by mouth when he kissed me. I still cringe at the thought. Gross! I'm glad I left him. I was so pathetic to always follow him like a puppy and do whatever he wanted. I hated that part of my life and I'm glad I'm over it.

My eyes wander to his body and they start travelling south.

NO! NO! NO! Stop you stupid bitch.