Wished Away

Anger-Jealousy-Sorrow

As ash and fire and all thing with life burn, scorched and burned, left to rubble- I sit here and ponder was it worth your struggle.
Your inexplainable war of passion and fury mix with the tears and pain written across my face.
Left with your sorrow and sadness, I can't pity you. I won't pity you. Never, not once, never again can I see you the same. With anguish clutching your heart, pity shall no longer swarm me. I cannot forgive you.
Words left behind, laughter, love, happiness- hope! Never shall your words reach my ears, let them fall upon deaf ears.

--/--

Was it wrong of me to want something? Want it so much I would go to such measures, surely, surely she would understand. Worrying, pitying my choices, decisions- all made for her! Still I am not credited, still, I am left behind, can it be so wrong for me to want something. Something more than colours of black and white, miserable, you had wished something more for me.
And now- now I have that, you want nothing for than to rip it away from me. Am I not good enough, am I not enough for your kind words and embrace and soft smile. Lips no longer curved upwards they fall, falling like the tears staining your rosy red cheeks.
Still out of reach, what measures must I resort to- to make you mine?

--/--

I pity you.
I no longer rely on kind words. Lulling me to you with your sweet smiles. I detest you, no longer shall I look at you with kind eyes. That which I had wished to return is no longer. No longer because you, you had destroyed, and with it hopes and dreams.
What was I supposed to do, to fall immediately to your feet and be submissive? As a human surely you would expect me to revolt, rebel to your words and action. I would never be submissive, I- I shall never be submissive to you.
There is no reason to now. Not after you have destroyed all that I love. Madness shall not swarm me- no, not as it has done to you.