Wished Away

Mistakes

A mistake. I had made a mistake, a terrible, haunting mistake. One that I could never live down, nor forget what my choices had enforced. My loud and irrational voice sending out frantic cries of hate against the soft logical pleading of someone who I once deemed close to me. And those tired glazed over eyes losing light as they stared into my own bright and wide ones. Both filled with such shock and horror yet while one pair was able to find forgiveness- the other pair was not.  Cursed with that image, burned so deeply into their mind it left a great scar upon the holder of that damned piece of metal. An object of which could both save and kill its target within mere seconds.

Running back to his base was not my first and, may I add, best idea. But neither were my choices and actions, so here I was- hands shaking violently and fumbling to unlock the security system and give myself enough time to enter without being caught on either side. Sobbing quietly, I begged for the doors to open quickly and silently. Finally managing to succeed at the task at hand, I rushed inside, closing the door with such haste I must have looked like a scared mouse running for dear life; which I, of course, was, but no one would necessarily have knowledge of that. I proceeded to slide down the door which blocked me from the outside and then erupt into more tears of grief. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them securely, wiping any stray tears away.

Foot steps alarmed me slightly and the shuffling of feet back and forth was enough to alert me that he knew of my arrival. His little minions must have surely seen of my arrival and went rushing to tell him. There was no reward for them, though; they just reported to him because they were as cruel and twisted as he was.

His steps were different from theirs, more defined and certain. I could easily make them out from the rest and hear them approaching the stairs that looked over towards the entrance. I stayed still, frozen by his icy glare. Fear washed over me like a waterfall and I felt as though I was in a pool and couldn't swim, drowning slowly but surely.

"Two weeks, Jasmin. You've been gone for two whole fucking weeks- where the hell have you been?" Cole's voice echoed, filling the foyer with sharp words that hit me one by one. He was pissed, beyond angry at his little possession that had just disobeyed him. After all, that was all he saw me as, a toy to play with and discard once broken. His demeanour was that of a careless child, for in one mere moment he was laughing with such joy as he threw around each toy and in the next, he had mercilessly ripped apart their existence, leaving the pile of remains behind.

"It's done." I mumbled, "she's gone, like we planned." Finishing my words I looked up cautiously, afraid of their affect. He breathed in composedly, trying to keep his cool. His creased brow and closed eyes relaxed and he started to make his way towards me. A silence settling around us, taunting me with each passing second.

"Well done- is that what you were expecting my poor, little Jasmin? After leaving without a word, did you come crying back to me, wanting a reward?" He stated, leisurely walking down the steps. "Guess what, honey, it's not that simple. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do with you. Absolutely no idea." He commented with a sinister look, his expression dark and focused directly on me. The word 'honey' held no love or warmth, instead it was drenched within a cold icy feeling; in the same way he held no love in that stone-like heart. No, all that remained there was insanity, that was crawling freely, searching for anything to lay its slimy hands upon.

"I just wanted to get it over with. To be honest, I really don't know why I started to follow you- why I trusted you. Not when all you cause is suffering..." I murmured without hesitation, a small tinge of sarcasm laced my words but it was the truth, after all; I didn't know why I had gone along with what he had said, but all I knew was I couldn't take another day of watching him treat people so poorly, so I left. I ran away from his little world, wanting to escape from what had tied me to him in the first place. His words had been like honeyed poison, tempting me with grand words and magnificent gestures. But I could not fully blame him for my sin, not when it was I that had performed such a foul crime.

Cole chuckled dryly, stopping at the final step to think. What was going through his crazed head? Surely the thoughts of a person who belonged in a prison, or perhaps, better fitting, a mental asylum. His hawk-like eyes peered over to me, scanning my figure with a certain hint of discerning, like he had done this action a million times, over and over- searching for something new to discover. Finally, he broke his gaze and stepped down, strolling towards me. For some strange reason, I didn't feel the need to move away, to run away like a small dog with its tail between its legs. I simply didn't see the purpose of it, he would catch me, he always does- and if not, I would come running back anyway. It was a cycle, a game he played and never lost. I just so happened to get caught in his misleading trap.

Stopping in front of me, he looked down at my unsettled form with only a glance, regarding me with little favour. He seemed to be contemplating a heavy thought and so, crouching down he snatched my chin from its downward gaze. I avoided eye-contact as best as humanly possible, however, he had a way of staring right into my very soul. 

"What is it you were hoping to achieve, my little dove? You had the chance to leave- but you didn't. Why come back, were you scared perhaps?" He inquired, sneering slightly. Of course, he was right. Alone, I stood small and weak, as a small bird would to a proud eagle. And as the reality of his words sunk in, I came to the realisation that I would never escape with such ease again. What was I hoping to achieve? A warm smile and a hug? No one in their right mind would treat me in such a way, I was only a criminal now and Cole knew that.

So I chose to feed him the words he had been waiting for: "you're the only one who will accept me and let me stay with them. You are the only one who will look at me with anything but disgust." I uttered softly with defeat. The words clearly set something in that scheming brain of his off, as a grin etched it's way on to his face. His grip on my chin seemed to increase, a pain made its way there and I struggled to keep focus through my tears; but that only brought a gleam of joy to his sharp eyes.

Being trapped between a wall and a pitiless person was hardly how I wanted this situation to go. In fact, if I had thought through my options, instead of being a spineless coward, I would have taken the gift and stayed far, far away. I had made one mistake after another and now they were taking their revenge. A bitter taste of defeat swarmed my body and bile rose to the back of my throat, burning everything it touched. I bit my tongue harder by the second as I held on to my game of staring at the floor. I possessed no further power, no gun or reasoning with him. Pleading would ultimately only cause worse consequences for me and so, I stayed still, silently.

"You dream of acceptance into a place you no longer belong to, my angel. That world does not know you anymore as good or of worth." He sneered, releasing my chin from his grip, "but I do. I can offer you much more than any of those people ever could. But for a price."

"What price? What more could you want from me! What do you want me to do now?" I snapped. Frustration and anger had built up within me and like a bomb I exploded. However, Cole only looked at me with all oddly calm gaze. I couldn't read his emotions at all and as a silence engulfed the hall I began to fear the effects of my outburst. But, instead of anger Cole's face spared a small, deceiving smile.

"Now? Now you will tell me what you did to her. Now, you will accept this as your final home."