You're the one I .... adore??.....

reality?

Lily's POV:

I don't really remember, but I do know that at some point during the day, Rumi pulled me out of the house and drove me to the petrol pump where Kitty was waiting for me. I also know she spoke with Kitty before letting us drive away. Mercifully, Kitty did not question me, or well, maybe she did, I might have not heard. However, she did hug me before letting me out of her car.

I also know I must have dragged my feet into my house and then wandered off into my bedroom. I mean, I did find myself in my bed when I woke a few hours ago. I think I skipped my dinner, because the clock struck midnight and the moon's rays danced in my room, casting a silvery hue at the dresser by the window and onto the carpet towards my door.

I don't know why I was even noticing such mundane things; perhaps it was better than driving myself crazy, worrying about Liam. I didn't know where he was, I had no idea if they had reached the first base, or the second. I wondered though, whether he ate my muffins, did he share them with his friends, had they liked it?

I remember wondering if he was in a dessert or in a tropical forest; maybe, he was near the oceans, could he have gone to the poles. I wondered if I packed his case adequately, I mean, did he have the correct clothing for the weather and place? Did I pack enough socks and underwear for him?

I lay there, fretting my life out, knowing he wouldn’t like me in this state but I could do nothing to calm myself. I mean, how can anyone be calm and collected and composed if their loved one has gone to war!

When lying down became a chore, I jumped off the bed and began pacing the length of my room. Our house is old hence our rooms are big, this means, whenever I pace, I can walk more than thirty steps. I knew because I was counting my steps from the balustrade to the door. On my twentieth round, I found myself walking out into the moonlight and staring at Liam’s oak tree. An involuntary smile stretched on my face as I remembered Liam telling me about is escapades.

I didn’t even realize when my soft smile turned into tears and soon, I began to sob my heart out. Damn I was scared, I was freaking out and I didn’t have anyone to run to. Whom could I even share my secret with.

Quietly, just like when I was a child, I slipped out of my room and padded towards Mom and Dad’s suite. I felt like a lost kid as I knocked on the door and wondered if I should be disturbing them in the middle of the night. However, so great was my fear that I couldn’t bring myself to turn away. I stood rooted at the spot as I knocked incessantly, I couldn’t bear to be alone tonight.

“What happened love?” Dad asked as he jerked the door open and saw me crying. I simply jumped into his arms and began sobbing. “Hush my girl, everything will be alright kid. Please let me, what has happened?” He asked as he stroked my hair and then quietly pulled me inside, soon Mom’s arms engulfed me as she soothed me and dragged me to bed, “What has happened love?” She asked and suddenly, the damn broke and I began shivering, “You remember how I would get visions Mom?” I whispered and she stilled.

“Did you get any love?” She asked as her hand froze on my face. “No Mom, this is what’s scaring me, I am feeling just as antsy as I did then but I have no visions, I am really scared.” I whispered as I hid my face in her lap and cried.

“Honey, what has happened?” Mom asked again and for the life of me I couldn’t say his name, couldn’t risk them realizing the intimacy I had with him and his name.

 “Can I sleep with you, Mom?” I whispered as I shut my eyes tight trying to stop the storm of visuals as the bombarded me, reminding me of Liam, his nuances, his smiles; God, I wanted him here, please…

“Lily, sleep here love, come, Dad will bunk in your room tonight, alright?” She whispered.

Shit, no, I couldn’t risk Dad in my room, it was my haven, it had been witness to the most private and memorable Moments, I couldn’t bear Dad there, on Liam and my bed. Besides, what if he found something incriminating there; no, Dad couldn’t stay the night.