You're the one I .... adore??.....

"WELCOME HOME!"

Soorry for the delay.....

As I drove through the gates of this huge estate I felt my heart beat against my ribs, I felt it choke me to tears. The familiar fragrance of home was calling out to me, bringing back memories I had buried somewhere, deep inside of me and forced myself to believe that I had forgotten them. Ridiculously  now, those seemingly long forgotten memories were back and as sharp and as clear as though they had happened just yesterday. I could hear the voices again, could feel all those emotions again.. They were just beyond me, just a little out of reach...

As I drove through the drive way, two very deep and conflicting emotions assailed me. A part of me was angry at not returning home sooner while the other, the more cowardly part wanted to  drive through and not stop. It wanted to go away again. It feared those painful memories that were buried deep in me, those that had not yet healed, those that somehow refused to heal.

“Will you come back soon? Promise?” I heard an innocent little voice sniffle as she held my hand for the last time before letting me go. My hand tightened on the steering wheel as tears clouded my vision and my heart grew heavier than before, if that was even possible. It was this voice, that promise that eventually stopped me from turning around and driving away. I halted my Martin in front of the entrance and forced myself to get out. As I did I realised how much I had forgotten. This mansion was so much more than just structural magnificence, it was a home filled with love and warmth and laughter.

I walked towards the stairs and stopped. I was losing my nerves now. My palms were sweaty and  and heart was just about to burst. Was I doing the right thing?

“We miss you my darling, come home soon.” I could hear my sisters loving voice blast my ears over the phone.

Taking a deep breath I ran up the stairs. I didn’t want to lose my already shaky courage any more than I already had.

I didn’t even have to ring the bell. As soon as I reached the landing, I was attacked by a laughing hellfire who was busy giving me warm hugs and wet kisses to realise that I was being strangled and choked to death. I was attacked with warm wet hugs, laughter, chatter, kisses, admonishments, threats, love, more kisses and even more wet, teary hugs. In short I was being mauled by my sister, Amara, Amy as I always called her.

Even after all these years she was still a bubbly little bundle of energy. I mean come on even after four children she refused to behave her age and show some modicum of maturity and sophistication. “You will strangle him love, let him breathe a bit.” I heard Sam, my brother-in-law, lovingly berate his wife. I thanked him with my eyes as Amy let me go and attacked him instead. But he simply pulled her and me into his huge bear hug and at once every fear, second thoughts and doubts flew away. Strong warm arms that had sworn to protect the two of us all those years ago still felt the same, warm and full of love.

“Welcome home buddy.” he whispered gruffly , I knew he too was just as emotional as I was and yet worse than me in displaying it.

Stepping aside, they both pulled me through the door, into their warm home and my heaven.

I was greeted by Albert, Sam’s butler but more like a father. He greeted me with arms wide open, a toothy smile and tears in his eyes, smiling like a father greeting his long lost son with love. What shocked me most was that he was in a wheelchair, not by the door like he would usually be found.

A wheelchair! How many years had I been away? I thought as guilt clenched my heart and cut through me. I had truly been selfish.

Gulping my tears and hiding my pain and guilt I ran to him and into his outstretched arms and hugged him tight. Kneeling next to him, I put my head in his lap and whispered, “Missed you daddy Albert.”