tuesday lullabies

week two // augustus and hazel grace

-A/N the author's note is in the beginning okay. call me a white girl, but i love this book. excuse me. it was either this, alice in wonderland x peter pan, draco x luna, or katniss x peeta. this one-shot isn't nearly as deep or profound as it should/deserves to be, but you know. i hope you'll understnad. xox, mar-

week two // augustus and hazel grace (tFiOS)

Tonight, I think of Hazel Grace. 

It’s not just her looks that drew me to her from the start. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that she’s unattractive or anything. Believe me, she’s hot. It’s not her cropped hair, her beauty, that captured me initially. 

It was her attitude.

It was the way she held her head high in the first group therapy session, even though it was for depressed teenagers. She didn’t act better than them, but she didn’t bathe in pity or cried for attention. She did her time, and left. She didn’t bullshit anything; she knew she was dying. She didn’t embrace it, but she didn’t put the fact off that someday, someday soon, she was going to be gone from this world.

She wasn’t a typical teenager, especially not a typical teenager with cancer. She marched to the beat of her own drum. She didn’t care what was cool and what wasn’t, and she took pride in that. She loved watching America’s Next Top Model, and shamelessly watched it with her parents. She “smized.” Hazel Grace didn’t let society pressure her into doing whatever she didn’t want to do. She stood up for her opinions.

I wonder what she’s doing now. She’s probably worrying about me, to be quite honest. I’m a bit flattered - who wouldn’t be? - but also very sad. If her worries extend as far as my parent’s do, she’ll be up all night.

There’s no need for her to worry, I want to scream. I’ll still be alive tomorrow; I’ll still be alive to meet you in Isaac’s basement, and we can play one of his video games, and laugh, and joke, and forget that we have cancer. Okay, Hazel? Okay?

I wonder whether I should reach for my phone or not. I could call her and tell her I’m okay. I could even just send a simple text to her, Okay. To remind her that she is my forever and always. She is okay.

But my muscles are too sore, and I don’t think I can reach over right now. It’s alright. I’ll call her tomorrow.

I fell in love with Hazel Grace as swiftly as I could. Neither of us had any time to waste, and neither of us saw the point in playing games. Thank goodness. I had little enough time with her already.

I look over to my bookshelf. I should probably finish the next Price of Dawn soon. As much as Hazel laughs, I can’t help it. I genuinely enjoy the series (and I know, as much as she hates to admit it, she does too.) A person can’t always be An Imperial Affliction, you know.

Sighing, I wonder - again - if Hazel is doing okay. I bet she is. She’s strong.

It’s getting kind of late. Maybe I should sleep. And tomorrow, I can probably