Chapter Two: Self Harm

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Self Harm

SELF HARM: Self harm is when someone deliberately injures or brings harm to one's body.

I personally never understood how someone could want to bring pain to themselves, though that was when I was young and naive. Self harm is an extremely touchy subject to me as it comes really close to home. I have never tried it, but a lot of my friends have and not just to seem cool, but because they were in a state of complete of utter pain. They couldn't see another alternative. 

Self harm can be done in many ways, and when you're in that state of depression or pain, even the most vulnerable object can be seen as a weapon to hurt yourself. I understand now why people do it. To distract themselves from the pain, to bring a short relief to everything, to punish themselves for not being good enough, to feel something, to show the world that something isn't right, or sometimes just to bring attention to themselves. But not because they're self-centered, but maybe because they want to feel wanted, loved, needed. 

In some way, I see self harm in levels or steps. First comes the pain, then the over-thinking of everything, then slowly everything in your life doesn't seem right, you find yourself trapped inside your body with dark thoughts shadowing even the slightest bit of hope. So what do you do? You look or relief, a way to stop the pain even if it's only temporary. Then you begin to see alternatives; drinking, drugs, self harm. And then finally comes the experimenting.

Does it work?

Did it help?

Then you begin to see it as the only way to escape, suddenly all you think about is that. When you're going to do it. How you're going to do it. For some it even becomes an addiction of some sort. But let me tell you this SELF HARM IS NOT THE WAY! It never was and never will be! 

Open your eyes and see that not everything in your life isn't completely destroyed. What's that? You can't find anything? Look harder! There's something there. You can read. You can write. You can walk and talk and move around freely. Even the smallest thing can go a long way. And like the cliched line goes "there is light at the end of every tunnel". Don't believe me? Then stay alive and prove me wrong. But tell me this, have you not realised how every person who has done something great with their life had a struggle? They waited and marched through life to the light at the end of the tunnel, and trust me IT WILL PAY OFF!

So put down the knife, clean up your wounds and promise yourself "I am stronger than this". Even if you don't believe you are, keep saying that over and over again in your head, scream at the top of your lungs if you have to, but don't stop saying that until you don't need to say it to believe it because you already know. 

Self harm is dark and painful, but once you get out of it and recover you will feel infinite. I understand the pain you are going through, but keep your chin up and keep walking, even if it seems impossible because believe it or not, it isn't. I know life may suck right now, and it may kill you inside, but once everything is over you will walk out of there with your head raised so high up that people will have no other choice but to look up to you. 

If you are experiencing self harm, please get help! 

1-800-55-1800 - Kids help line.

1-800-DON’T-CUT

1-800-273-TALK - 24 hour crisis hotline.

1-800-SUICIDE - Hotline for people contemplating suicide.

1-800-334-HELP - Self Injury Foundation’s 24-hour national crisis line.

1-800-799-SAFE - Domestic violence hotline.

1-877-332-7333 - Real Help For Teens’ help line.

Even if it seems like no one cares guess what? I care. A girl on the internet you've never met before cares about you. So please stop, you have an amazing life ahead of you so go out there and live it. 

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