Jumpa

I pray for your suffer

-syaza fahzlin-

You were different from the others.

You were unique.

Mysterious

You're like a riddle.

An endless game of puzzles.

That made me always wonder but never bother to find out.

I called it a trust. A respect of your privacy.

Expecting one day when you're ready to tell, you will.

But answers kept coming towards me,

Making me know your true colour before you could tell,

Would you tell?

I don't think you call it a trust, neither a respect.

When you started to tie strings on me instead of a knot

When you started pulling those strings to make me move

And laugh

And smile

And cry

And love.

So that was my trophy for playing your game,

I was your pretty little puppet doll

The one you were proud of, the one you named 'Gadis'

Blinded? No, I could see perfectly clear.

My heart was blinded though, with love.

A created tangled on the strings love.

You were unique, aren't you?

The pain to cut off those strings was cruciating FYI

The suffer seeing your loved ones hurt because of your so called love

Have you ever feel that kind of suffer?

The same that you secretly blown to me?

Why though?

Did I do you wrong before we ever met?

Were you so scared of losing me?

Or were you so obsessed with those fears in you?

I forgave you at first, you must have reason, I thought.

So I waited for you to come

And ask for the forgiveness that I was ready to give

But you never came.

You never turned up like you said you would

You never admit it was not you who did it

You hide away but still throwing stones to wake me up.

How could you?

Is there an empty hole where your heart should be?

I think now, it's not too mean to pray for your suffer.

So I pray for your pain, I pray for you to feel

The emptiness inside me

The fire you lit up around me

The scars and wounds all over me.

Please dear God, let him feel.

Let him cry

Let him beg for Your mercy

Let him suffer before he dies._