Black Bird

13

"Liam's dead." Harry signed to me after I asked what was wrong.

"What?" I asked making sure I read that right.

"Liam's dead." Harry signed again.

"Liam's de-dead?" I asked not believing what I was just saying.

"Yes Louis."

"But, but how?" I said feeling like I was going to be sick.

"He killed himself."

"Suicide?"

Harry nodded.

"When was this?"

"Thursday night."

"But why? Why would Liam kill himself? He's life was great?" I said with tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I don't know Louis."

"You were obviously friends with him. Why was he so sad? Shouldn't I be the one dead right now?"

"I don't know alright? I thought he was happy too. He was finally free from the bet and he was living the life with Soph. I don't understand ether."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I just don't understand." I said and opened my eyes again to see Harry holding an envelope.

"He left this for you." he signed and then handed me the envelope with To Louis written on it.

"Did anyone else get one?" I asked looking down at the letter.

"No. Just you." I saw looking up again.

"Oh." I said and opened up the envelope.

There was a line piece of paper folded up so I opened it and started reading it with a heavy heart.

To Louis,

I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to put this, but I'm sorry. What I did to you was shit. Complete shit. You don't understand how bad I feel for doing this to you. You may not believe me because of the way I acted on prom night, but I was acting. I was acting that I didn't care about you and that I didn't love you. I mean I don't love you like that, I'm still straight, but I love you like a friend. You're such an amazing person and I can't believe I hurt you like this and stooped so low. But right now I want to tell you why I did what I did.

So in elementary school I was very popular. Everyone loved me and wanted to be me. I was the star. I never wanted that to end, but it did. Harry moved into the city in middle school and all of that was taken away from me. I was bullied and my grades were slipping. Everything was falling apart, but at least I still had my parents to care for me. My parents were always there to support me while Harry's friends tormented me. Harry never did. Just his friends.

I never thought that in eighth grade it would get worse, but it did. Along with the bullying my parents lost their jobs, started fighting, and eventually divorced. I never saw my dad since. So I stayed with my mom and ended up in a trailer park. Harry eventually found out about it after my mom started cleaning their house in 9th grade school year.

Harry felt really bad for me and told me he could help me gain back the popularity and my life. So Harry cleaned me up, gave me all of his old cloths, and gave me an old car of his that still looked brand new. He also told me to start dating you. I refused saying I was straight but he said it would help my reputation and he would pay me if I could last until senior year and I really needed the money. So I did it. He even was going to help me out with college.

Through out the years of us being together I actually started feeling really bad about all that was going to go down senior year, but I really needed college and I needed to support my mom. I found out she got cancer and we didn't have the money. You were my life support and I thank you for that, even though you had to suffer so much. You suffered for me and I'm thankful but very very sorry Louis.

I'm so very depressed now. I can't believe I did all of this. Even though you helped me, I didn't get to help you. I wish I could have told you all of this before you did what you did. I was meaning to tell you everything. I really was, but then I heard the news. Louis why? You really had it going for you. Why would you kill yourself Louis! Why!

I sit here every night thinking about you. Thinking how this is all my fault. I should have just got a job. I shouldn't have done this to you. I practically murdered you. I never helped you through your pain. I just made things worse and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Louis.

After I found out about the rumor that you died by killing yourself, I didn't believe it at first. I mean you or Niall hadn't been showing up the first week after prom is what everyone had been saying but I didn't think anything about it. But after someone tweeted that only Niall came back seeming so out of it I knew. I knew you took your on life because of me. You died because of my stupid mistake and now it's my turn.

I can't live life knowing I hurt you. I can't live knowing I hurt you so bad. So I take my life to make up for your death and make up for my mistakes. I'm an awful person Louis. I'm sorry.

Rest in peace angel.

Liam.

I threw the letter.

I threw it across the room.

"What?" Harry signed confused.

"Liam thought I killed myself Harry!" I screamed. "Why the fuck would he think that!"

Harry looked at me with wide eyes. I saw his face turn red with anger and then he turned around and punched my wall.

"What the hell! Harry stop!"

Harry turned around and I saw tears rolling down is cheeks.

"This is my fault!" he signed angry.

"How?" I asked trying to get the tears out of my eyes.

"The rumors started the forth day you and Niall didn't show for school." Harry signed. "Liam and I heard it off of twitter, since we got expelled. Everyone was saying rest in peace Louis but I obviously knew you were alive, but I thought Liam knew it too." harry signed as he cried harder. "I didn't know he hadn't spoken to you yet. I thought he knew. I should have told him!"

"Harry calm down." I said getting up. "It's going to be o-okay." I said as I sobbed still. "But that's why you came to see me that one day?"

He nodded.

"I had to see if the rumors where just rumors."

Harry took me in his arms and I couldn't help but cry into his shoulder and hug him tightly. Harry cried into my hair since he's taller then me and I cried into his neck. I didn't think I could actually hug Harry after everything that happened, but right now I needed it. I needed the comfort of Harry.

Harry let go and we both sat down on the bed turned to each other so I could see his hands if he needed to tell me something.

"Louis I'm sorry all of this happened."

"I am too." I nodded.

"Louis I never thought I would ever be saying this, but I need you. I need my friend back. I know we didn't have much of a friendship, but I need it. I need you. I'm so very sorry. I'm so sorry Louis. I can't get through this without you. You knew Liam better then anyone. He just kept a few things from you but you know him and I need you to help me and be my friend again. God i'm so sorry-" he signed fast but I stopped him by grabbing onto his hands. He looked at me confused.

"I missed you too Harry and we will get through this together. I need a friend too."

_________

Well this chapter is all sorts of sad, but I did it for a reason. So please like and comment and don't be too upset... ~Ash