Smile

Chapter 7- Phenomenon

~Kelseys POV~

I woke up from a long nap. Took a shower and saw my message notification make a sound. As I got dressed and layed on my bed and I opened the message.

It read...

Julia: "Look, I don't want you hurt. I just have a lot going on with myself that I cannot quite fix. You know that saying "you have to love yourself before anyone else"? Well thats what I've got to work on and before I can give you the best love, I need to love myself, I'm sorry."

At that moment my head started to hurt, I held my stomach and my mouth and started to cry. I screamed in a pillow and started hitting myself violently. I knew it was my fault, she didn't love me, I fell hard for her.

I quickly grabbed a cigarette, took of my shirt and sat in the bathtub topless. I smoked half then put the cigarette out and drank a few chugs of whisky. I grabbed my pain killers and took a shit load of them. I attempted. I will die.

I've known Julia for so long and I actually felt like she had feelings for me too. It's Alex, it's got to be another girl at least. I didn't know what to think. I was so thoughtless about anything else around me, I hate myself.

She was my first. My only love I've ever first experenced. Why? How could she do this? I'm not perfect to her. I'll be alone forever. Goodbye world.
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I'm alive. I can't be. I woke up in the bathtub and vomited the pills up.What have I done. I'm such a idiot. I'm still broken. What to do now. I'm alone. It's Sunday and I have to see Julia tomorrow, I can't look at her. She hurt me more then I've ever thought would turn out. We've only dated for a week.. why did she treat me like everything and then drop me careless?

I don't know, no one can help me now for sure. I just got to hide my pain. Tomorrow I won't go to school but when I do on Tuesday, I cannot speak to anyone. People are monstrous creatures.

I pulled out the half used cigarette from last night and I finished it.

Grabbed my backpack and walked out the door.

I roamed around town and went to a bridge by a highway that lead downtown and a river that flowed beneath. I sat on the bridge. If you jumped, it would be endless death. At that moment, I didn't think about dying. I just thought about what I could've done better, how can I survive my life now? '

I cleared it out my mind for a moment. I sat there, alone and in complete silence the only sound was the waves crashing wildly below.

A tear fell down my face but it was meaningless. It was silence for a moment until I heard a man like voice say behind me "Don't you dare jump", I looked at this man and it was a homeless guy. I responed that I was not and he just walked away.

I got off the bridge and walked home. Not aware of my surroundings. This was the day of my traumatizing thoughts. Unsolvable.

(Yo! Most of you guys were asking questions to me about if these were true events or nah and yep their true. I'm not telling the direct story that's happened but I'm adding and changing names of the true story. So enjoy reading...)