Jurassic Love

Chapter 19

With the whirlwind that was now my life, you could probably understand how hard it was to even remember what day of the week it was, let alone the actual date.

For a few days I had disguised being sick in the morning as just simply something bad I had eaten, but that excuse had worn off after a while as Owen realised we ate the exact same thing thereabouts, and he was completely fine. It was mostly to just convince myself, but I realised I could only absorb my panic for a short while before I needed to address it.

So here I was on a rainy Wednesday morning, running from Owen's warm grasp in bed and vomiting into the toilet. It happened a few times and I felt Owen's presence behind me after a while, fisting my hair into a ponytail. I flushed and stood shivering, my hair falling as Owen dropped it. We settled into silence, both of us not quite sure what to say.

"Are you alright?" Owen whispered, breaking the silence. I took a deep breath and spun round.

"Um, yeah, probably just something I ate." I quickly said, again. But all that was running through my mind was how long it had been since I got my last period.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and my heart dropped as I realised I hadn't gotten a period in way over a month.

"Shit I don't know." I said, biting my lip, hopping from one foot to another. Owen looked uncertain and glanced at the toilet.

"When was your...?" Owen trailed off.

"About two months ago." I said quietly and Owen let out a breath, running a hand over his face and in his hair.

"Shit Rosie, why didn't you tell me?" He said. It was in a tone where it was hard to distinguish whether he was mad, scared or worse.

"I didn't think that..." I trailed off, not being able to tell him that I didn't want to accept it.

"But... But... How?" Owen's voice was becoming strained.

"I don't think I need to tell you how do you?" I said sarcastically.

"But we've always used-" he began, "oh. Fuck." He said after he realised that sometimes we were caught in the heat of the moment, and his pull out game wasn't always strong.

"Yeah, fuck." I said, putting the toilet seat down and sitting on it, putting my head in my hands.

"Look, we need to get one of those... one of those, you know, tests you can do." Owen said, not moving from the doorway.

"And what if it's positive?" I said and Owen said nothing.

"Well it might not be." He said abruptly.

"There's a big fucking chance I'm knocked up right now and you can't stick your head in the sand." I spat. He was annoying me that he was being so blunt about this.

"I'm not sticking my head in the sand, I'm just trying to be levelheaded." He replied in that unreadable tone again, "you've probably just gotten your dates wrong."

"Owen I've missed a whole entire period, I don't think my dates are wrong!" I cried out, running my hand through my hair and tugging at the scalp.

"Rosie, don't take this shit out on me."

"This shit? I could be pregnant with your child and you couldn't be any more ignorant!"
Owen stayed silent, staring at the wall as if I wasn't even there.

"I really need support right now. This could change so much, and I'm terrified. I just need you there for me." I explained, standing up, taking his hand and looking at him hopefully, "I just want you to reassure me everything is fine, we're fine, and that whatever happens we'll get though it and make it work... We love each other."

"I'll go get a test." He said, not meeting my eyes, removing my hand and walking out silently. I heard him rustling around in the bedroom and I let the tears fall silently, not wanting him to see me crying. I just wanted a little compassion and for him to comfort me, but instead I get nothing.
Suddenly angry, I slammed out of the door, throwing on Owen's discarded sweatshirt over some denim shorts and shoving on some converse.

"Where are you going?" Owen asked.

"As far away from you as possible." I said, my voice cracking as I knew this was serious and I could lose him.

"Rosie!" I heard him call, but he didn't come after me, he left me to leave in the pouring rain.

By the time I got to Claire's place I was soaked to the skin. The park was closed due to the tropical storm sweeping along the coastline and I was a fool for going out.
Claire looked shocked when she saw me there, dripping.

"Jesus Rosie!" She said, ushering me in quickly.

"Is Barry here?" I said breathlessly with my teeth chattering.

"No, he's out checking on the raptors. What's going on? Why did you come out in this weather?" Claire asked quickly. I suddenly broke down into tears and sobbed and she immediately pulled me close and hugged me tight.

"Is it Owen?" She whispered into my hair and I nodded. She sighed and led me into the living room and sat me down.

"I might be pregnant." I blurted out before Claire could make herself comfortable opposite me.

"Oh... My... God." Claire responded, completely shocked and I couldn't help but giggle at her despite everything.

"Yeah." I replied with a sigh, flipping back against the sofa. Claire had tactfully placed a towel over where I was sitting so I didn't ruin her white leather sofa.

"So I assume you've told Owen?" She asked and I nodded, biting my trembling lip. Claire stayed silent, realising that this is probably the reason I was here. After a moment, she leant over and peeled Owen's soaking sweatshirt and my pyjama top (which was also Owen's) up and looked at my bare tanned belly. Nothing looked massively different, just a little less defined, but my eyes just imagined it growing larger and larger, so I put my hand over Claire's and tugged it back down.

"What did he say?" She asked.

"He refused to talk about it and is acting as if it is going to be negative. I mean... He offered to get a test but all I wanted was for him to hug me and tell me everything was going to be fine." I took a deep breath, "I told him how I felt and he just ignored me. I feel like this is the worst possible thing to happen to him and he wants to run a mile."

"Owen loves you Rosie, you know he wouldn't." Claire said.

"Well he couldn't say it back to me this morning." I sighed miserably, feeling my throat thicken as I felt tears coming again.

"He's probably just in shock, hell, you're in shock too! Why don't you spend the day here, I can get you some warm clothes, take a shower. Then we'll think what to do okay?" She smiled softly at me. I smiled back and nodded before getting up to hug her.

"Thankyou, for everything. I love you a lot." I told her.

"I love you a lot. Now go get a shower you're freezing." She said and I was hurried into her bathroom. I took a quick shower and braided my hair into a thick long braid from the top of my head to let it air dry. Claire had put out a jumper and sweatpants for me and I changed, not daring to look down at my stomach in case it had suddenly grown. I was going crazy.

I wasn't sure how I was feeling entirely about being pregnant. I was still so young and it would possibly compromise my job, and when the baby grew up, where would we live? Where would it go to school? I had always wanted kids but I didn't expect it to happen like this, and I definitely expected the father to be more welcoming. I thought I would be married, living in the suburbs by this time. How different things were.
But, a phrase I firmly believed in came into my mind, 'everything happens for a reason' and it was in that moment that I became amazed that I could be carrying new life inside of me, that was half of me and half of Owen.
I started crying then, not only because I was going to be a mother, but because I wanted to share this with feeling with Owen, and he hadn't even bothered to come and look for me.
Sure, I had only known Owen for a few months, but I knew I loved him and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and that I did want kids with him. I just sure as hell hadn't pictured this.