Once Upon The Outsiders (Fairytale Version)

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time in Tulsa, Oklahoma...

Bob, Randy, and their friend Girard were out camping. Cherry, Marcia, and their friend Nancy were out to murder their souls because they spotted the guys with different women and other things, so the guys decided to run off into the woods. Cause, well, you get lost in the woods and nobody will find you. Thanks Girard.

Anyway, Bob, Randy, and Girard noticed it was about to get dark. The three Socs went to go build their shelters. "So, Girard," Randy said before they began, "What happened to you and Nancy?"

"I poked her with a crayon," Girard stated. "She said I'm the sharpest crayon in the box, however I clearly made a test. YOU HEAR THAT NANCY?" Girard shouted into the forest. "I'M FOR NOT, THE SHARPEST CRAYON IN DA BOX!"

"Okay," Randy said, turning to his friend Bob.

Bob replied, "Cherry caught me with her twin sister, Berry."

"I was cheating on Marcia..." Randy said, suddenly looking down at the ground. "with...her-"

A loud crumbling noise emerged from the forest. The three Socs looked at each other. It wasn't them...maybe a bear, or, if possible, a raging spider monkey.

The Socs seemed to ignore the sound and went to build their shelters. Bob came back to their campsite with millions of sticks. He was the first to return. He set them on the ground and planned out how he will build a tent.

Randy was second with bundles of bricks. He almost dropped them on the ground. And when Girard came, the two Socs burst out laughing.

"What?" Girard asked, putting down the materials he found. Bob and Randy switched looks.

"Where the hell did you find straw?" Bob asked.

"Well...where the hell did you find bricks?" Girard spat back.

"I got sticks," Randy said.

"Shut up Randy!" Bob and Girard said in unison. Bob added: "Or should I say, RANDAL!"

"Don't use my first name!" Randy spat back. "You got that, ROBERT?"

"Yeah, I do, GIRARD!" Bob turned back to Girard.

"You know what, forget it! I ain't goin' camping with you two buttheads!" Girard shouted. "I bet y'all won't even make it the first hour out here on your lonesome!"

"Oh yeah?" Bob said. "I challenge both of ya to a bet!"

"You can't Sheldon, cause I already did!" Girard said.

"Well, you're lame!" Bob said.

"GUYS!" Randy shouted cutting them off. "Whoever can build their shelter the best with no help wins, alright?"

"FINE," Bob and Girard yelled.

And so they did. Bob built his tent out of bricks. Randy built his out of sticks, and Girard made his out of straw. They went in their tents, closed their doors (which were failures), and got ready for a night's sleep...

But, at eleven in the night, they heard a noise.

A scary noise.

Really, really scary.

"Oh Bob..." the voice rung. Bob's head spun. It was too deep to be Cherry's...or anybody else he knew. There was only one explanation: ...wait, there is none.

"Randy..." the voice said. Randy, since fifth grade, was actually frightened. The voices have come to get me, he thought.

"Gerald..." the voice said.

"IT'S GIRARD!"

Bad mistake.

"Bob, Randy, GIRARD," the voice shouted. "I've hunt you all down...I know you're here." There was no answer. The Socs were scared. "Let me in your tent shit, your death should be private."

Still, there was no answer.

Suddenly there was a knocking at Girard's straw door. "Knock, knock," the voice said eerily.

"Who's there?" Girard asked in a high-pitched girly voice.

"BULLSHIT!" Two-Bit shouted, and blasted out a bazooka gun and shot through the straw door, hitting Girard in the eyeball. The door broke off, revealing an almost dead Girard and a rolling eyeball.

Dallas and Two-Bit went to the next tent. It was made of sticks. "Randy, ya don't want to go like Gerald did, do ya now?" Dally said in his creepy voice.

"It's Girard..." Girard moaned from his ruined shelter.

"BULLSHIT!" Two-Bit spun around and shot at Gerald. Gerald exploded into a mighty strawberry and danced off into the woods.

"Sorry Randy, your time has come," Dally said. "Open the door."

"You're not my mom!" Randy spat back. Two-Bit spun back around and aimed his bazooka gun at the door.

"Hold it," Dally told Two-Bit. Dally turned back to the door out of sticks. "If you won't open the door, I guess I'll just have to break in." Dally took a deep breath. "I'LL HUFF, AND I'LL PUFF, AND-"

"BULLSHIT!" Two-Bit cut him off, blasting at least ten bullets and knocking down the door and hitting Randy in the throat. Randy suffocated and died.

"And Bob-" Dally began, but was cut off by Two-Bit.

"Robert Sheldon, today is your lucky day," Two-Bit said.

"Really?" Bob said in a squeaky voice.

"BULLSHIT!" Two-Bit shouted, and Dally blew the house down, revealing a hyperventilating Bob. Two-Bit then shot Bob into millions of pieces. Dally seemed utterly pleased and smiled at Bob, who was now chopped up into pieces. There was blood everywhere.

Dally looked at Two-Bit. Two-Bit looked at Dally. Two-Bit smiled and put his bazooka gun in Dally's face. "MAZEL TOV!" he shouted, and pressed down on the armor and blasted Dally in the face. Dally fell backwards and onto the ground, dead. Dally then blew up into a strawberry and danced off into the woods. Suddenly you could hear shouting.

The rest of the gang was running from the woods in Two-Bit's direction. Two-Bit shouted on the top of his lungs and started firing at the gang nonstop. "BULLSHIT!"

He shot all of the gang until they were dead. But suddenly they all rose up and puffed into strawberries and danced into the forest.

Two-Bit then felt sad. He killed his gang members, they were his family. Therefore he had no choice but to risk his life.

He put the bazooka gun at the top of his head. He fired.

Two-Bit then danced off into the woods along with his fellow gang members as a magical strawberry.

The End

A/N: ...This was weird. -Amanda XD