Chap 1 : Hurt
Aria's POV
Living in New York was supposed to be so good,we were a happy and complete family,Dad was very rich so we were doing great,we shared our secrets and loved eachother so much, Mom and Dad were always so loving and I could feel that Dad was the best catch she would've ever had,he was so romantic and fun and caring.....until one day when he was supposed to be out of town but he came back the same day because his business trip got cancelled so he went back home and found Mom in the room with three 18 y/o guys having dinner and flirting,Dad was just....shocked and started yelling at them and he even started beating them and they were like : "Sir We're so sorry she told us she was DIVORCED and BORED..we didn't know We swear"
My older brother and Sister and I were getting some ice cream that Mom requested earlier..now I know she wanted to get rid of us,but the view from the minute we walked in is still haunting me,Dad yelling at my mom and beating some young guys...i dropped the ice cream box on the floor due to the element of surprise and disgust. Quickly Michael pushed Allison and I away from the awkward situation and told us to wait outside the apartment. After 15 minutes of yelling in anger, Dad opened the door to kick the guys out. He invited us in and hugged us and whispered " I love you" ,then Micheal joined the hug and that was our last twith Dad,because he said he has to go and not come back because of Mom, Mike seemed to have known that.
I was 14 y/o then, g
so I did understand my parents were getting divorced. I thought it was the worst thing that will ever happen to me but honestly? There's way worst. Dad moved out after a week,and we never saw him again,he probably remarried with a better woman and doesn't miss us at all. Mom started drinking alcohol too badly, Mike and Ally would go to work,and she would invite some guys over,and they would party and do crazy things in the house. Back then,I would just lock my door and cry myself to sleep and hope it's over really fast. Soon enough, my classmates noticed my mother was on drugs and alcohol..and started calling her a slut in front of me because I guess she dated their older brother or someone they knew..and rumors started jumping around the school and I couldn't do anything about it. They started calling me all these names and made songs about it
"Like Mother like daughter,she drove away ur father"
And I was sad and down but most of the time I didn't show them my sadness and pretended to be strong and gave them an angry look. But there's one night...I always get nightmares about it: I got raped when I was alone in the house, I can't think of any worst feeling or experience..I didn't tell anyone,not even my family,only Emily knows about it because she's the one who took me to the hospital after the sick and terrifying mishap,I kept crying for days and Mike was wondering what had happened to me but we refused to tell him because,I just wanted to move on and never think about it again.. I can't not think about it,in fact I think about it every second of my life.At one point, I told Allison about it, because I reached my breaking point and I needed family support, it helped I guess. I had a boyfriend before the rape, Jake Andrew,after the rape,I didn't see him ever again,he didn't even say Good Bye or give me a last kiss. Then again he was never that romantic,at first he was so good,he called me "pumpkin" and wanted to kiss me all the time,but after a while he was more interested in my body than my face and voice and thoughts.Sometimes I think he was only using me to touch my body,then my doubts disappeared when he offered me all these amazing special gifts.Did I mention he's really rich? But I wasn't using him for the money of course.. I really loved him. But now he's gone and I probably won't see him again,but I'm not sure if I want to,I really need to move on. My friends back then liked him. They were really good to me and defended me against the others. Somehow,everyone in my school found out about the rape and felt bad about what they were saying to me and calling me, I appreciated that most of them apologized and stoped the hate.
And now.. We just moved to Las Vegas because apperently here, there's a club Mom will be working at..that's disgusting.. I can't even imagine. So we're here now,but Mike insisted on getting his own appartement because he was sick and tired of Mom... I would've moved out if I could too. Ally didn't either because she wanted to stay with me so I wouldn't stay alone with Mom and some guys who can hurt me just like last time. Let's just say she was as thromatized as I am, the difference is : she CAN get over it, I really can't,as hard as I will ever try, I can't forget what made me lose trust in love and relationships.
The only thing I'm excited about here is that I'm gonna reunite with my Best Friend Ever : Emily, she moved here last year and we thought our friendship was over but we chatted and called each other a couple of times now I'm gonna be able to stay with her,finally,she was the only one who understood me,and she's the only friend of mine who didn't like Jake. She was loyal and fun and supportive,now I can't wait to see her again and cry in her arms because I got loads of problems just waiting to come out as tears.
I'm a broken soul. Literally, I need someone to help me get over this, a guy. But at the same time I know I won't be able to make love, I won't be able to sleep feeling safe in someone's arms, I won't be able to stop those nightmares I have almost every night, so why bother? Why would I bring a guy into this, when I know he's gonna regret it. He'll leave me as soon as he finds out my story.
This is silly. I shouldn't be even thinking about boys because it will never happen, the old me is dead and buried in a secret hidden place full with all the qualities I used to have. Courage, loving and safe. It's all gone now and I'm left in a dark place I don't even know what it is, so confused,so fragile, i'm hurt.
