The Road Of Autumn [Interracial/WWBM]✔️

Chapter Ten: The Past & Him

I am unnerved because of my recent conclusions. I am terrified because of my developing emotions. I am absolutely confused because of the time it took for this to unravel. I was once the woman who felt being alone was the best thing for me, but slowly and surely, that woman is evolving. She is evolving and so is her judgement.

Three days ago I crossed a line that I can never retract from. I cannot take back the events that occurred that evening. I cannot take back the emotions that were finally confirmed. Everything has been solidified. As scary as it sounds, I have found harmony in it.

The harmony is allowing myself to open up again. I never realized how closed off I was until Timothy came along. That is a overdue statement considering my mother and Karen have been jumping down my throat about being "So cold", but it is a true one. In a little over a month, the man warmed me up to something new again.

I am not admitting to feeling jubilant enough to want to bare all of my secrets to him or anyone else for that matter, but I am simply proud of my progress thus far. It takes a stubborn and kind person to deal with a job like me. I sincerely appreciate his efforts.

"Okay, every time you come over... We have a good little slumber party and in the morning you're all awkward and quiet. I feel like I'm dealing with a one-night stand here." Karen sighs defeatedly, sipping at her chamomile.

After an eventful evening with Timothy, I tried to return to my studio apartment and recollect everything that happened. My mind was trying to process what my heart was feeling. My heart was ignoring what my mind was not feeling. I was in a wiry state of mind and in dire need of some sort of stability to focus again.

Just as previous times when I felt this way, I made yet another stop at my sister's home. I have made a subsequent habit of this lately. The good thing is Karen does not seem to mind at all. Now her husband I cannot speak for currently.

Ryan is a team player for his wife, but I am not oblivious to his eye rolling and negative muttering about my consistent and impromptu visits.

Nevertheless, I needed a distraction and my sister, as she has done plenty of times before, provided one.

"It's about, Timothy. Isn't it?" She implores for more.

I glance over my shoulder to catch Karen's premature smirk. I only roll my eyes and shrug lightly. I am still debating on whether or not I should tell Karen about the second kiss. Even I cannot seem to wrap my head around that one.

The kiss was thoughtless, effortless, and bold. I wanted so much more than that ephemeral kiss offered. I needed more of that, more of him. But it is too early and that scares me. I have only known him a month and already feel ready to jump his bones.

Get it together, Autumn.

"Your hesitation told me everything. Mhm, what has he done now? I hope cleaned out your pipe because it's been what, months after Ja--"

"Don't. Don't go there." I grit, turning around to find Karen plopping beside me.

Karen's eyes fall onto her mug, apparently acknowledging her mistake.

"Sorry, Autumn. I know it's tough. That was tough... But you can't act like he never existed. You--"

"Stop. Stop it, Karen." I glare at her, daring her to continue.

She inhales deeply.

"You have to talk about him sometime." She exhales. "That's the only way you'll get over it. And especially over him."

I close my eyes. Karen does not understand the excruciating pain I experienced with that man. She may never be able to fathom the ordeal. All she knows is the aftermath.