The Road Of Autumn [Interracial/WWBM]✔️

Chapter Sixteen: Art of Hesitation

We never truly fall in love. Falling is the art of hesitation. Instead, we walk into love, slowly but surely. We walk into love unexpectedly and acknowledge it almost immediately. What we choose to do from there truly determines whether we have truly fallen or simply walked into love.

"Are you sure you lost him? I mean, what if he followed you?" Karen stresses, taking the stuffed giraffe from my hand.

I shrug my shoulders and watch as she centers the stuffed toy on her newly installed wooden shelf.

The evening that I saw Jason has been plaguing me even more than my recent nightmares. Those gray eyes I once found tantalizing antagonizes me whenever I think back to that day.

For two weeks I have tried to nullify the memory, demean it as just a ploy to throw me off. But try as I might, those gray eyes and the painfully deep memories that subsequently follow just won't budge.

And so I came to Karen, guiltily of course. I waited two weeks out of courtesy of her preparing for her little bundle. But after yet another restless night, I decided to let her in on the little hell I am currently experiencing, praying that she would provide comfort.

With open arms, she invited my burdens in and we discussed solutions, the mention of a restraining order came up a few times. I deadpanned that idea along with others. I no longer want to be a coward for this man.

Karen said it best when she advised me to relieve myself of his mental grip on me. She told me herself, I have to take back my control and especially my sanity.

Although she did agree with my argument, our new concern is his next attempt to try and reach me. And that is where I am stumped.

"I don't know, Karen. I don't want to run again. I want to move on." I sigh dejectedly. "Maybe moving on requires facing him."

Karen turns away from the shelf with a sympathetic smile. She reaches for my arms and gives it a small squeeze.

"Maybe. Or maybe it doesn't." She drops her hand to her side. "I don't want you risking the chance, he's crazy. You know that, Autumn."

I nod and glance around the monotonous room. The muted hues of gray and white expose the uncertainty of the gender of the baby. I even smile at a certain memory that crosses my mind.

I remember accompanying Karen last week to go shopping for paint and nursery decorations. At nearly three months pregnant Karen is already concluding the gender of the baby. She believes the little darling will be a little lad.

I have stressed to her that she cannot go out and invest in items for a specific gender when the gender is uncertain still. She only laughed and decided to go with mutual tones and gender-neutral goodies.

She also made it known that as soon as she finds out the gender of the little miracle that my expertise will be only needed when asked. And that I agreed on.

"You're going to be such a great mother," I replied with a soft sigh.

Karen instinctively places her palms on a barely noticeable baby bump before smiling dreamily.

"I sure hope so."

A moment of silence falls between us. The silence is bearable and calming. I even find myself smiling a little harder because of the silence, especially as I experience my sister transcend into motherhood.

Karen has always seemed like the motherly type and I have no doubt that she will fulfill her duties fruitfully.

"You know, I may just be a good mother, but I know you will make the best aunt. Whether you like to admit it or not, you adore children. I even believe you will be a terrific mother." Karen winks, reaching for my hand.