The day slowly drags on and I decide to spend most of my day in my office, trying not to fangirl over Green Day. Around five(the last hour of my work day), a fairly short woman enters my room. She has mixed brown and black dreadlocks, brown eyes, and perfect curves. She's wearing a beautiful smile, but holds sorrow in her eyes. "Hi. Uh, I'm Adrienne," she smiles, "Is Billie Joe still here?" I shrug, "I dunno; I haven't been in the studio for a bit, but I think so." She sits on the chair across from me and smiles nervously. "So, I don't think you know, but Billie and I are dating...well, sorta. For now. I'm sorry I'm telling you all of this, but I can't tell anyone else that I'm close to," she explains softly. "It's okay. Before you tell me anything else, you should know that I'm not that great with comforting people and—" I begin.
"I just need to tell someone and I know I can't tell anyone else. I just figured that since I don't know you, you won't go telling everyone," she cuts me off. "Billie and I have been dating for about two years, but..." "But what?" I ask, concern filling up my brain even though I don't know anything besides her name. "How do you know when it's over and you aren't in love anymore?" Adrienne asks. I think for a second, then I remember seeing a certain quote on tumblr(sorry! I don't remember who said the quote). "It's over when you're more in love with the memories you have with the person than the actual person," I try to say comfortingly. A few tears spill from her eyes and I get up to act as moral support. I pull my chair next to her's and attempt to hug her, but it's super awkward.
During the eccentric "hug," the door slowly opens to reveal Jill with a coffee in her hand. "So, Cara, there's this party ton–Oh, hi Adrienne!" Jill perks up. Adrienne quickly fakes a smile and jumps up to hug Jill. The two interact as if they haven't seen each other in years.
"How've ya been?" Jill asks her. "I could be better, but don't worry; I'll be alright!" Adrienne answers back. Again, the door swings open, but this time, it's the one, and only, Billie Joe Armstrong. Ever since that awkward moment we shared this morning, I've done everything in my power to avoid him. After I listened to "Wake Me Up When September Ends," I left the booth and locked myself away in my office. A bit earlier today, I had to pee, but I saw Billie Joe leaving the recording area to go to the bathroom as well. This resulted in me going back into my office and holding it in until he went back into the room.
"I thought that voice sounded familiar! Hey, 80," Billie Joe greets Adrienne. He then looks over at me and says,"Cara." I roll my eyes and open my laptop up, nonchalantly watching Billie Joe interact with Adrienne.
Stop looking at them! You'll look like a freaking psychopath! I look away, but shortly after, I look right back. Okay. F*ck it. I'm gonna watch them and if they ask me anything, I'll just ask a confusing question right back to them.... Maybe I'll see Adrienne break up with Billie Joe! That'll be something to use against him—What the hell am I thinking? He's basically my boss! Okay, Cara. Knock it off and act like you're doing work instead of eavesdropping. I shake my head and focus my attention back to my laptop screen.
I log into my Amazon account and scroll through all the items I don't need, but want badly. There's an absolutely amazing pair of leather, brown boots that I've been wanting to buy, but I keep telling myself that I don't deserve them. That's basically how I save my money. At the end of every month, after paying all of my bills, I usually have about $100-$200 left of spending money. I then use all of that money to eat my feelings, and or, buy things for my dog, Bear. So basically, my life is a bit short of money, but hey, some people have it A LOT worse than I do. In other words, I'm not complaining.
I rarely ever pamper myself to anything. The last time I actually did something for myself is when I bought a cupcake for my own birthday. My mom forgot since she hasn't really been able to function since my dad's passing. When my mom first found out about my dad, she didn't exactly seemed to be phased by it. She lived in denial for the passed eight years, but now, however, she's always depressed. Come to think of it, she hasn't talked to me in almost two years. Usually, I'm tough about these kinds of things, but my mom is the only person I've got left(besides Bear).
Sure, I have a couple of aunts and uncles, but none of them really talk to me or know me. Sometimes, when I'm all alone, I imagine my mom and dad having dinner with me, or doing simple tasks; Such as, taking out the trash, filling up the dog food bowl, watching TV with me, crying at Grey's Anatomy, and sometimes, when I'm really alone, I imagine them comforting me as I cry.
"Ooh! Those are so cute! Ugh. Another thing to add to my 'wants, not needs' list," Jill whispers to me as she looks at my laptop screen. "Oh my god, I know! I've been wanting these for, like, two months!" I yell-whisper back to her. As Jill continues to talk, I hear Adrienne tell Billie Joe,"Can we talk for a second? Alone?" He nods, and they quickly exit my room.
"...And then a giant penis protrudes from the ocean and kills everyone," Jill says in an annoyed voice. "Whoa, what?!" I ask, my eyebrows furrow together. "Yeah, now you're listening," she scoffs. "I-I'm sorry. I don't mean to ignore you. I'm just distracted is all," I reply honestly.
"Whatever. Anyways, what I came in here to ask you was if you wanted to go to a party tonight," she says as she sips her coffee.
"I don't know; it's my first day here. I don't wanna have a hangover tomorrow," I admit, assuming there will be alcohol at the party.
"No, no. There won't be any alcohol. Just some...stuff."
"What kind of 'stuff?'" I make air quotes around 'stuff.'
"Oh, just the usual. Heroin."
"Are you in-f*cking-sane?! You'd have to be crazy to shoot up! Are you stupid?! Someday, you're gonna die from a freaking overdose, and guess what I'll say! I TOLD YOU SO!" I yelled rather loudly.
"Girl, chill! I was kidding! Don't have a bitch fit! I'm dumb, but not stupid!" Jill retorts.
I scoff, but I slowly begin to laugh, "Damnit, Jill! You were about to get punched in the face." At this point, me and her are laughing and crying over something with such dark humor. Once the laughter dies down, Jill asks,"So, what do you say? Wanna come to the party?" I think for a second and confidently answer,"Sure. Why not?"
Social anxiety, here I come!
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A/N: Heyyy beautiful people!!! I hope all is well and you girls/guys are having a good Memorial Day weekend!!I hope u all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also, let me know what u think should happen next chapter!
Please comment and vote if you liked this chapter! Ilyasm! XOXO
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The Motto Was Just a Lie//BJA
Fanfic"But I can't, Billie. You don't understand." "I know more than you think I do, but if you aren't ready to believe that, that's okay." What happens when Cara, a girl with a troubled past, and Billie Joe, who just got out of a relationship, meet? Will...