Someday

2

Cydthealee's POV

Nasa Starbucks kami ngayon ni Kim. I'm drinking my favourite Green Tea Latte and am still contemplating whether I should order another pastry, tutal libre naman ni Kim.

"Didit please hinay hinay ka lang. Hindi ako mayaman." Pagbibiro ni Kim, pero I know half-true yun.

"Okay fine. Hindi kita gagawing poor today. Save your money for our future nalang. You know na madami pa tayong puppies na i-aadopt." Pabirong banat ko kay Kim.

"Oo naman no. I need to provide for my future family lalo na't ang mommy nila eh masyadong matakaw." biro ni Kim sabay kindat sa akin.

Shet. Eto na naman tayo. Ako yung nagsimulang bumanat pero di ko pala mapapanindigan. Iba ka talaga Fajardo!

"He-he..oo nga." nauutal kong sabi, "So ano na? What's new with you?" I need to change the topic and quick.

"Kaloka ka, Didit. Araw-araw na tayong magkasama, tatanungin mo pa yan?" bulyaw niya sakin.

"Edi wag! Sige. Magtitigan nalang tayo dito." naiinis kong sabi sa kanya.

"Ayy ano ba naman yang Didit ko, nagbibiro lang eh." malambing na sambit ni Kim.

Taena. Didit ko. KO. Tabang mo diha. (Tulungan niyo ako.) Di ko siya kaya!

"Ewan ko sa'yo! Tara na nga. Andami ko pang gagawin na school work eh."

"Umm mauna ka na, may gagawin pa ako eh." sagot ni Kim.

"Osige. Wag kang masyadong late umuwi ah? Mag-ingat ka!" paalala ko sakanya.

"Yes po. I'll see you later. Miss you na agad. hahaha jooke." Biro niya.

"Ewan ko talaga sa'yo. Ang landi mo!" Sabi ko habang tumatawa.

SA DORM

Okay, I lied. Wala naman talaga akong dapat gawin dito sa dorm. I just really needed to get away from Kim. Masyado na akong nababaliw at nahuhulog sa mga banat niya. 

I'm here in my room now fixing my closet because it looks like a typhoon ran through it, when I found my old journal.

The journal that I started in my rookie year but never found the motivation to ever continue.

November 15, 2010

Journal,
Today was great! Nagpunta kami ni Kimy and Mowky sa mall and just window shopped kase wala naman kaming pera hahaha. We only spent money on food and it was worth it. Kim even treated me some ice cream! I don't know why ako lang and hindi niya sinali si Mowky. Bahala na, basta tatanggapin ko nalang ang mga blessings hahaha. Anyway, yun lang.

As I read that entry I can't help but cringe. I was so young then and I just feel corny reading that. One thing's for sure though, Kim has always been sweet. Maybe deep down, even from the beginning, Kim has always had a special place in my heart. Even before I consciously knew it. And here I am again, thinking about her again. Hay nako brain, wala na bang ibang topic? 

I don't know when I should confess. I don't know if I should confess. Kaya ko ba? Kaya ko bang kimkimin ang nararamdaman ko? Kaya ko bang i-risk ang friendship namin? But most importantly, kaya ko bang mabuhay nalang na puro "what if"?

I don't know. I really don't.

Maybe someday. Who knows, that 'someday' could be tomorrow, next week, next month or another lifetime. For now, I'll just ride this wave out. When the timing feels right, I won't hold back anymore and I will tell her. Promise.

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a/n: I don't know how often I'll be able to update because uni is killing atm and I have exam block coming up 😭 I'll try my best though!