Someday

6

Cydthealee's POV

It's been 2 years. 

After completing my Master's degree in La Salle, I left. It was a hard decision to make. I loved Manila. I loved volleyball, but I loved my family more. They didn't make me choose, to be honest. It was all me. I wanted to discover myself more. My whole college life surrounded in Manila. Important days and celebrations were missed because I couldn't miss school or the tournament was on. This was finally my chance.

This was also my chance to get away from the pain. Yes, now that I think about, parang napaka-superficial lang ng love ko para kay Kim, but in my heart I know it was real. Hindi ako masasaktan ng sobra kung hindi. So I made a decision. I left my teammates, who have also become mg family. I left my dear friends and coaches. But most importantly, I left Kim.

The move was easy. I adjusted easily, as expected, and it was just so good to feel familiarity. Those 2 years of my life was peaceful. Oh so peaceful. May mga nanligaw din, pero I know in my heart it's not right just yet. My heart can't love someone else when it still has someone residing in it. So I made myself even busier. My life in Cebu revolved around work, family and travelling. I managed to go around the Philippines (avoiding Luzon tbh) and see new sights. It was breathtaking. Yun nga siguro yung sinasabi nilang soul searching.

But just 2 weeks ago, the coaching staff of a PSL team approached me. Actually, they've been reaching out ever since my last playing year, but like I said before, I used my family as an excuse. Now, I'm seriously considering it.

I feel a little bit uneasy about this though. Saying yes would mean that I'd have to live in Manila again. It would mean that I'd have see my former teammates. I'd have to see Kim. The communication I had with them, my former teammates, was little to none. They were busy with their lives and I was busy with mine. There was an occasional phone call, tweet or comment but it was never more than that. Now communication with Kim is a different story.

After she told me that Tin and her were officially a couple, naging mailap ako. Gone were the clingy pictures and hugot tweets. I decided to respect their relationship. Kim didn't ask this from me, but I guess it's common sense. If I were Tin, I'd hate to see my lover constantly being paired up with someone else but me. So, I took a step back. Natapos ang season na'yun na konti lang yung bonding moments naming dalawa. Naging busy si Kim kay Tin and that was expected. Though as a team we would always make sure to know what's up with each and everyone of us, so a weekly resto date or spa date would always happen.

When I left Manila after graduating from my Master's degree, Kim contacted me like crazy. Every time I would see her name on phone, I'd get butterflies. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi na dapat. Na tama na. Kim doesn't need to know how I felt anymore. Kikimkimin ko nalang tong nararamdaman ko because I know telling her everything would complicate things more than before. 

6 months after I left, Kim stopped calling completely. I don't know why, and to be honest, I don't want to know. This should be enough closure. 

But now here I am in Manila. In front of our old dorm where all my treasured memories of everyone were shared. 

"Ate Cyd! Andito ka na pala!" sigaw ni Kianna,"I've missed you!" She gave me a tight hug. "Halika na inside! We're all waiting for you!"

Pumasok ako and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic. I've lived in this complex for approximately 6 years of my life. The walls of this building has witnessed my highest highs and lowest lows. 

As soon as I walked in, one person caught my eye. That person just stood there and stared at me with expressionless eyes. Nagkatitigan kami ni Kim for a good 30 seconds and then she left without a word. 

"Ate Kim! Huy boss pogi!" called Kianna to Kim, "Anong nangyari dun?" 

I just stood there. I was surprised. I didn't expect her to welcome me warmly but I wasn't expecting the cold look she gave me.