My understandings

CH 10

Just sort of a filler chapter I haven't really been writing much because we are still in the process of moving and getting house ready. Also school sort of pervents me from writing. Sorry guys who do read my stuff which isn't alot but thanks to the lovely people who do c: 

Austin POV

I woke up to someone shaking me, I looked up and seen Jazabels beautiful face. "Goodmorning sleepy, you hungry? I made you an pancakes, and sausage." She sat a plate

down in front of me. I sat up and looked at her. I could tell she didn't get much sleep last night and see has been crying, her eyes where red and puffy. "Thanks babe

I really apprecitate it." I said as she sat next to me. "Look, Austin. I don't know if this is right, I seen you yesterday with Gielle. You still love her, it is 

written all over your face." She said her voice trembling with every word. She was right I do love her, I am not quite sure how I feel about Jazabel. I know I feel

something for her but I am confused about our relationship. I cleared my throat, "Jaz, I do love her but in a way that I can't explain. I am not sure how I feel about

you yet. We only really have only known each other for six weeks. I am glad I have you though, I really want us to grow into something real and beautiful. I

haven't been with anyone since I cheated on Gielle for pay back." I said stopping at the memories and my hurt felt kind of heavy. She nodded "Austin, you really are 

a great guy and I understand how you feel, I never told you about Caleb, I think it's time for me to tell you." I nodded for her to continue. "We were together since 

I was in ninth grade, He was my first boyfriend, my first everything. When I was in eleventh grade I got pregnant with his baby and he was there for me, was there

all the time. I was four months pregnant and had a miscarrige, I lost it. As much as I didn't want the baby because I knew that I wasn't ready, it still tore me up

inside. Caleb and I of course stayed together bringing us closer together. He just graduated and joined the army, he went off the basic and then eventually into active

duty overseas. He came back with PTSD and it went down hill from there. He wasn't the same. He stayed in his room only leaving to go to go bother his brother to buy 

him alcohol. One night I got a call that he killed hi..." she trailed off and started sobbing, I grabbed her and let her cry into my chest. She hurt, I could feel

the pain, the guilt and her love for him pour out of her body and through her tears. I then felt bad, bad because she couldn't ever get closure for him, it wasn't

just a break up. It was him leaving her behind, I could get some kind of closure with Gielle but that is something Jaz would never get from Caleb. "I am soo sorry,

Jaz. Can I do something? Anything, I will try to do what ever I can." She shook her head no and looked at me. "Austin, you remind me of him so much, the gentle touch,

soft spoken words. You know what to do and say at the right moment, know when to leave me alone, you know when to push my buttons." She said soft, looking at me in

my eyes the whole time. I just swooped her up bridal style and went up the stair and sat her on our bed. I couldn't just say mine anymore since she has been sleeping

in it for the past month. I went to the shower and turned on the hot water. I went back into the room and saw her crying and holding her head in her hands. "Go get

a shower, I'll be right here when you get out." I hugged her and she walked into the bathroom leaving the door open. I thought that was pretty silly of her but then

a thought came into my head, maybe she didn't trust herself alone right now behind a closed door maybe she wanted someone watching after her right now. Maybe she

needed someone to watch after her.