If There Is A Light

Chapter 38

Newt's mindset was constantly flipping and flopping. He had opinions in his head that would change about twelve times a day... he did not ever really remember being like that, but perhaps he was and he was just now noticing his fickle mind.

When Newt closed his eyes at night he knew exactly what would be playing in his head as he slept regardless of the events that captured his days. For the first time in a while they had a person in the Glade who was no longer content with being in the Glade: the new Greenie, Thomas. Even though he would be mulling over the slight bit of hope that their situation could chance, Ellia would haunt his dreams. He did not see her in his dreams every so often, not every other night; he saw her on a daily (well nightly) basis. There were some days that he thought that he should want those dreams to stop then maybe he could get over whatever funk he was in. There were some days where he wished he would not see her face when he fell asleep then he would not have to deal with waking up in the morning and realizing she still was not there. There were some nights that he wished he could just not wake up... that someone somewhere would just kill him in his sleep and he could live his life the way he wanted to: with her. Most of the time he was just happy to see her. Sleeping was his favorite thing to do anymore.

His breathing was labored and his eyes were screwed shut. Ellia's lips lingered on his neck: her sweet lips caressing the skin and her teeth gently nipping at the exposed flesh. Her warm breath was intoxicating. He knew what part came next, but this time it never came. He did not argue with her about her existence. He knew what she would say: You're real to me. He had no idea what prompted his sudden realization, but it apparently hit him, because he was not trying to resist. Newt pulled her onto her lap and smiled when she giggled. He kissed her. She kissed him back and smiled against his lips when she felt his hands run freely across her skin. Ellia pulled away trying to catch her breath. With a smile still plastered on his face Newt placed his forehead on hers. "You are absolutely the best bloody thing that has ever happened to me."

The smile that was on Newt's face in his dream was the same one that was on his face when he woke up. Minho passed his hammock with a smirk on his face, "Sleep well?"

"Shuck off." Newt was not angry in the slightest bit. He actually felt like he had gained a tiny bit of clarity. No one else in the Glade had a clue who Ellia was (well Minho heard her name). Newt knew who she was though. She had been everything he needed and desired... she still was. Whether he saw her while he was awake or asleep, did it matter? He longed to have her constantly, but he loved her and he would take every second he could have with her. Newt could pretend all he wanted to that Ellia was just a dream, but that would be a lie. Ellia was part of a dream, but she was real. If only to him.