If There Is A Light

Chapter 29

A single scratchy sheet was the only layer the two had between their bodies and the ground. Newt felt extremely self-conscious about whatever it was they had between them. It was hard not to feel that way. He had no idea what it was that he was doing. Well he had some idea of what they were doing... There were some days were he felt like he was doing everything right, but he had days were he felt the opposite.

That night he felt like he was doing everything wrong. They stared up at the dark sky. They had decided to sneak out past 'curfew'. They sought shelter in the wooded area of the Glade. Far away from all of the boys so they would not wake anyone or get caught. Not that Newt was really worried that Alby would have a problem with that. He took a deep breath, "I ain't got the foggiest idea of what I'm doin' here." He felt better immediately after he admitted it. Although now he was slightly worried that it would deter her to wanting to further anything with him.

Ellia just laughed and turned her head to face him. She grabbed his hand and looped her fingers with his, "I don't either."

"Guess that would make sense." Newt scoffed at himself for being silly. How would she know if he was doing this whole relationship thing wrong?

Newt leaned over and placed his lips on hers. It was something he had done in the past, but this time it felt different. They lingered on hers for a while and she applied just as much pressure as he did. He was acting purely on instinct now. His teeth grazed her bottom lip ever so slightly. A shiver and a gasp was all he got from her, but that was all he needed. He deepened the kiss and it was unlike any of the ones they shared before this. It was long and passionate and left him breathless when he pulled away. His forehead stayed attached to hers and Ellia did not give him a chance to catch his breath. She pulled him back in and kept him there. Not that Newt minded in the slightest bit.

His hands felt warm against her body. The skin on his hands was rough from being in The Glade so long, but it sent a shiver up her spine as he bypassed her shirt and ran his palm across her stomach. The action caused her to tense up, Ellia had never really thought about her figure until that moment. Now she felt too skinny or too fat she was not sure, but she knew it was not what she was supposed to be and she hoped that either Newt would not mind or would not notice.

Unfortunately the two were forced to separate. The laws of the universe left them no choice and they sucked in all of the air they had willingly deprived themselves of, "There's something I have to tell you." Newt pulled himself off of her and laid back down on his back. He did have something to tell her, but it was caught in his throat.

Love. Newt knew that was a verb. Ellia drove him crazy. One minute he was soaring in the sky way above the Glade and the maze, and the smallest thing could drag him down further than he'd ever thought was possible. When she chose to be quiet instead of stopping him he felt horrid.... Worse than he had ever felt in his entire life, or what he could remember of it. When she spoke his name.... when she spoke her name there was no comparison. Even now when he had her underneath him it was a feeling he could not explain. He would do anything she asked of him and he would die for her. He had not been put in that situation, but he knew he would, because he did not know how he would live without her. Nothing about what he felt with Ellia made the word love just something that was said. He felt it with every fiber in his body and he showed it every chance he got or would get.

Newt closed his eyes and sighed. He did not doubt his decision to tell her and he was certainly not doubting how he felt. He just needed a second to collect his thoughts and words. When he said it he wanted to be clear and unmistakable.